“You know what, we’ve been saying for years that one of these days, we’re going to wake up, and Trump will have been arrested for one of these many crimes? Well, that day could be tomorrow.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“You’ve got to give it to him. It’s not often that everyone sends out a save-the-date for their own arrest.” — JIMMY FALLON
“But you never know with him. Either he’s about to actually be arrested or he’s releasing another round of digital trading cards for us to buy. We don’t know for sure.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
“The truth is, there’s no good reason for Trump to be in any of this trouble. If Casa-no-brain had just paid Stormy Daniels the $130,000 himself out of his Pizza Hut money or whatever, he wouldn’t be in this situation. He wouldn’t have an issue in New York. So many of his legal problems are based on him being an idiot. If President Karen hadn’t picked up the phone and called around Georgia, asking to speak to its manager to find 11,000 votes, he wouldn’t have an issue in Georgia. If he just tweeted the words ‘Calm down, go home’ four hours earlier like everyone, including his daughter, told him to, he wouldn’t have an issue on Jan. 6. And if the great white hope chest hadn’t boxed up his love letters from the Saudis and Kim Jong-un — if he hadn’t squirreled them out of the White House and into the rec room at Golf-a-logo — he wouldn’t have an issue with the F.B.I. In every case, the reason he’s in trouble is because he is the dumbest criminal in the world. He brought this all on himself. He’s Al Ca-BoneHead, is what he is.” — JIMMY KIMMEL
Trish Bendix
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