WASHINGTON—In an effort to respond to rising concerns about immigration, President Joe Biden signed an executive order Monday to deport all 340 million Americans and start the country over from scratch. “Effective immediately, I am ordering the swift removal of all men, women, and children from American soil to give this nation a much-needed blank slate,” the president said upon signing the action, which instructs the Department of Homeland Security to swiftly round up and expel every U.S. citizen, beginning with the reporters and public servants in attendance at the press conference. “After centuries of ethnic and racial strife, we are simply in too deep to salvage a path forward for our great nation. The time has come to wipe the whole place clean and start anew. Today, I urge my fellow Americans to surrender themselves as soon as possible to an ICE agent for a safe and speedy deportation to Guatemala or Mexico. Once there, you can feel free to apply for citizenship again. I should note, though, that this could take years given that everyone working in immigration will soon be deported too.” Biden added that he envisioned a strong path forward for America as an entirely Filipino ethnostate.
