Since great leaders are great communicators, choosing your words carefully — both what to say and when to say it — is crucial.
After all, words matter, and some words more than others, especially if you hope to increase performance, build more effective teams, forge better relationships, and gain buy-in.
Here are three.
Because
As Steve Jobs said, asking for help is “what separates, sometimes, the people who do things from the people who just dream about them.”
So if you need something, asking politely is effective. (As Mark Cuban says, being nice is one of the most underrated skills in business.)
But providing a reason is even more effective.
As described in Robert Cialdini’s book Influence, researchers asked people to try to butt in line to use a copier, using one of three phrases.
Phrase 1: “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine?”
The result? Sixty percent of the people standing in line let the individual in ahead of them. Most people like to be nice, or, at the very least, like to avoid confrontation.
Phrase 2: “I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I am in a rush?”
The result? Ninety-four percent of the people standing in line let the individual in ahead of them. Also makes sense; most people like to be helpful.
Phrase 3: “Excuse me, I have five pages. May I use the Xerox machine because I have to make copies?” The result? Ninety-three percent of the people standing in line let the individual go ahead of them.
Which makes no sense. The second phrase provides a real reason; you’re in a hurry. The third phrase is where things get goofy: everyone in line needs to make copies, otherwise they wouldn’t be in line. “I have to make copies” isn’t a reason to jump ahead, yet nearly everyone let that person cut the line.
Why? As Cialdini writes, “A well-known principle of human behavior says that when we ask someone to do us a favor we will be more successful if we provide a reason. People simply like to have reasons for what they do.”
Whenever you want the people you lead to do something — to do anything — always include the word “because.” But don’t stop there. Make sure your “because” is clear, logical, and compelling.
Then people will want to work with you, not just for you.
Could
After you describe a problem, you ask, “What should we do?”
The first thing you should do is subsitute “could” for “should.” Research shows “should” typically limits possibilities by implying a finite set of choices. A study published in Organizational Behavior and Human Decision Processes found that using “should” typically results in people coming up with just two choices, which limits you to an either/or decision.
Unfortunately, most leaders tend to use “should” when they ask for input or feedback. If you’ve given the issue some thought, sifted through possibilities, and come up with what you feel are the two best options, you naturally present the solution as an either/or.
And that’s a problem: As a Harvard study published in the Academy of Management Journal found, substituting “could” for “should” generates a greater number of potential, and better, solutions.
Why? “Should” implies a narrow set of choices. “Could” implies unlimited possibilities.
As the researchers write:
Considering what one could do shifts people from analyzing and weighing what they assume to be fixed and mutually exclusive alternatives to generating options that might reconcile underlying imperatives.
Having a “could” mindset helps individuals engage in divergent thinking.
[And] in group contexts, we find that adopting a could mindset encouraged individuals to spend more time discussing these dilemmas and generating more ideas.
The next time you encounter a problem, don’t think, “What should I do?”
And definitely don’t say, “What should we do?” Just state the problem, without in any way implying you have the answer, and ask, “What could we do?”
You’ll get much better input.
Together
Teams obviously work together, or at least should. Yet stating the obvious by using the word “together” can cause people to work harder, longer, and more effectively.
A study published in Journal of Experimental Social Psychology placed participants in two groups. The members of one group worked on a task on their own, while the other group was told they would work on the task “together,” and could ask for tips from team members.
When the results were tallied, the people who heard the word “together”
- Worked almost 50 percent longer
- Solved more problems correctly
- Found it easier to stick with the task
- Said the task was more “interesting,” and were more likely to perform that task again
Even though they didn’t actually work together.
As the researchers write:
Social cues that signal an invitation to work with others can fuel intrinsic motivation even when people work alone.
The results suggest that cues of working together can inspire intrinsic motivation, turning work into play.
Not sure about the whole “play” thing where work is concerned, but feeling like you’re a part of a team — feeling like you’re a part of something bigger than yourself — makes a huge difference.
Say you’re forming a team. Don’t just tell people they’ll be a member of the team. Don’t just tell them what they need to accomplish. Say they’ll work on the project together. Say they’ll achieve the outcome together.
Science says they’ll likely work harder, longer, and better.
And will also enjoy the task, and being part of a team, a lot more.
The opinions expressed here by Inc.com columnists are their own, not those of Inc.com.
Jeff Haden
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