I finally watched Malcolm and Marie.

So, what’s the point of a film about a couple verbally abusing each other?

Plenty. It’s in the details.

First, you won’t get a climax here. Shot in black and white, this film is monochromatic in every sense. But you will witness conflicting contrasts between a couple.

First impression of Malcolm and Marie is that they are co-dependent. Opening scene, Malcolm is ranting about his successful film premiere while Marie is making him Mac and Cheese. And it’s 1 am.

In his speech, Malcolm thanked everyone he could think of, but not Marie, even though his film is based on Marie’s actual life experiences. A 20-year-old woman addicted to drugs, trying to get clean. So low she took an attempt at her life and failed. In her own words:

“Try slitting your wrists with a pair of nail scissors. You are not going to want to survive it though, because it’s embarrassing. Don’t worry, I am not so petty I would throw it out in an argument because I am angry… It’s embarrassing, and it’s cruel and it makes me regret sharing so much with you”

On the surface, you’d think Marie is just annoying. Centering her argument around the film, it might tempt you to dismiss her stance, but not so quick.

Malcolm, with his narcissistic traits and reasoning that exhibits grandiosity, is not completely wrong, either.

Both right in their own rights, Malcolm and Marie can’t empathise with each other and bed their argument because of the distance that exists between them.

Here stands a couple supposedly in love with each but separate from each other’s realities. Ironic because from the tales they share throughout the argument, it’s clear they’ve always been there for each other.

This is a couple intertwined with shared experiences and sacrifices they’ve made for each other. And yet, this is a couple that can’t fathom each other’s perspectives.

The space between us

“It’s not just about you forgetting to thank me, Malcolm. It’s about how you see me. And how you view my contribution not just to this relationship, but to your work. Specifically, in a movie you made about my life.”Marie

“What I am saying is you’ve spent your entire life catering to the feelings and whims of literally everybody but me.. Fucken fictional characters get more empathy from you than I do”Marie

For Marie, everything that is wrong with Malcolm and their relationship starts with Malcolm not seeing and appreciating her the way she feels a lover should. So, you see, the argument has to be centred around the film because the film is about her real lived experiences that Malcolm witnessed and turned in to a movie script.

This act on its own can suggest that Malcolm truly saw what happened to Marie and received it with empathy for the woman he loves—but this is not entirely true for Malcolm. He actually wants to separate the story from Marie.

“I feel like once you know someone is there for you and once you know they love you, you never actually think about them again.”Marie

Marie says this to Malcolm moments after he said the only thing that Marie can claim was based on her on the film is her getting clean and providing genuine insight into what that was like. It is almost as if Malcolm saw Marie’s contribution to the film as that of an interviewee and not of a partner who actually lived the experiences that inspired a film that made his career.

“Just don’t take me for granted”Marie

“I don’t”Malcolm

This is one of the lines that attests to the disparity between Malcolm and Marie. Malcolm could have easily said “I won’t” but he opted for “I don’t.” Because despite what Marie is fighting for, Malcolm does not believe he it. He sees everything entirely differently.

“You said it was fine. You squeezed my hand and said it was fine. You said I love you, don’t worry. It’s fine”Malcolm

Except it wasn’t fine. For a couple truly in tune with each other’s needs, I would like to assume that when you do your partner wrong and they insist all is well, alone, with your own moral ground, you just know that what you did can’t be okay.

And certainly, Marie should not lie about how she feels, but it is precisely this space I am speaking of that can infer lying. You lie because you believe the truth won’t make any difference, anyway.

No space between us

“I can fucken read you”Malcolm

Throughout the film, they gave us intimate shots of Malcolm looking at Marie as if gauging her words and body language to conclude something only he knows about Marie that she does not know about herself.

Malcolm interprets Marie’s gestures and provides false meaning to her words. In his mind, he knows Marie better than she knows herself. This is mostly based on the evidence he holds against Marie about her history as a 20-year-old drug addict.

On that note, Malcolm and Marie have a 12-year-old gap. They met when Marie was 20 years old and Malcom was 32 years old. Go figure.

“You know Marie. You are genuinely unstable. I am actually concerned about your mental well-being. You are fucken delusional”Malcolm

In different instances, Malcolm and Marie insist on hurling hurtful words to each other, masking it with “I am calling you out on your bullshit”.

With Malcolm having have helped Marie get clean; And Marie being everything Malcolm needed to write the film They both believe they know the other better than the other knows themselves.

Malcolm the drug addict rescuer. And Marie, the creative’s grounder.

“You know, I bet you are a little bit upset right now because he forgot to thank you but you know how much he depends on you”Marie

Though Marie feels unseen by Malcolm, all signs say they have a pretty intertwined relationship, yet it leaves room for disconnection. Which brings us to the co-dependency.

The co-dependency

“Oh Malcolm, unfortunately no one can really write me except you”Marie

While Marie is fighting to be seen, to have a voice of her own and perhaps completely own her experiences without Malcolm’s involvement, she also submits her experiences to Malcolm. She makes Malcolm a part of what she went through.

And yes, Malcolm saved her, but her experiences are hers and who she is should be on her alone. She fails at this. It’s almost like she has a love hate relationship with how Malcolm gathered her experiences and told them beautifully. And she wishes she had more say over her story. Or at least the ability to tell it without Malcolm.

After playing William Bell, I forgot to be your lover in comes a scene of Marie disappearing into their dark bushy backyard. Malcolm immediately panics about where Marie is. He calls out for her as if their home is not big enough for her to be on the other side while he is on the other side. Warranted. you should worry when you can’t find your partner, but here it was a kind of unwarranted. dark,

The song’s lyrics are speaking on Malcolm’s shortcomings. He truly forgets to be Marie’s lover, just as Marie is complaining that he does not appreciate her. And yet, the moment he can’t find her, he looks for her like a baby who thinks people just magically appear and disappear.

“You know, you’re the neediest man I ever dated. At the same time, you are also the least jealous man I have ever dated… You just come up to me and be like, hey babe, what the hell are you doing? I need your help”Marie

“You just need a reason to be needed because if I don’t need you, then what the hell am I doing with you Marie? You want control because you can’t imagine that the reason I am with you is because I love you” Malcolm

“Malcolm, you can encourage me to have a life of my own but that’s bullshit. You don’t actually want me to have a life that’s separate from yours because you are too fucken needy”Marie

From the arguments, it seems like most of Malcom and Marie’s defining moments about how much they love each other depends on how much they can take care of each other. So you see, this relationship feels like an act of service.

Act of service in a relationship? Totally cool. But not when you keep score of what the other did for the other. And not when you’d rather be loved differently.

Unmasked

Get to fucken work and stop blaming me for your inability to get your shit together. I checked you into rehab. I went to group therapy with you. I have been with you. I fucken supported you every single step of the way. When you were depressed, when you were on so many meds, you couldn’t fuck for half a year. I was there for you. When you relapsed, I was there for you. When we lived on 38th street, and you went out to that meeting, right? And you didn’t come home because you were fucking somebody else, right? Guess who was there for you? This nigga right here. So don’t go there. Do not fucken go there because you are not going to win this one Marie, trust me.Malcolm

I was good fucken material. That’s why you stuck by me. Because I was a story? I was a world of emotions you weren’t used to seeing so fucken close. And because I was 20 years old, and never been loved the way you loved me or thought you loved me, I didn’t realise what I was to you. A fucken movie… God forbid you are ever alone and have to dream up another original idea. What are you going to write, Malcolm? Yourself? Give me a fucken break. You don’t have the walls, the gravitas, the fucken introspection to look at yourself, and your flaws, and your short-comings and the fuck that you may not be the next fucken spike Lee or Barry Jenkins because those motherfuckers had new to say. Something true to themselves and their experiences!Marie

From these grand speeches Malcolm and Marie give to each other, it is evident that while Malcolm feels he saved Marie from herself, Marie feels that Malcolm simply takes from her. And in-between these two polarities are a lot of complications of co-dependency and negligence. This makes up the space between Malcolm and Marie.

Together, but separate.

He could have just said, “Thank you, Marie.”

Ndinae K

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