While I am not someone who typically uses filters in any of my photos and never really have, I do understand why people find them entertaining or why they think they’re necessary. I also understand why people are tempted to use them in their dating profile pictures. However, I don’t really think it’s a great idea, and I want to share why I feel that way.
And hopefully if you’ve read enough of my posts, you know that it goes without saying, ‘you do you, boo.’ In other words, I am merely sharing a potential opinion, but you are completely free to do whatever you want when it comes to how you date online.
Reason #1 – It hides how you look.
The reason people look at pictures on someone’s dating profile is to determine if they are physically attracted to them. If you are covering up significant parts of your face or your body with filters or altering the way you actually look, it makes this harder to do (and can be deceptive).
Based off my experience in the industry, I do think that a lot of people are using filters to hide aspects of their physical appearance.
It’s probably worth noting that there are two different classes of filters that people use on their photos with online dating. The first are the fun filters like dog ears or butterflies or heart stickers or things like that. The second class is actually using filters and editing tools to make yourself look slimmer or to touch up the way your face looks or something like that.
I do think that the right and wrong aspects of these filters differ greatly by which class they fall into.
If you are using the fun filters like dog ears, that typically aren’t done to hide an aspect of your appearance, okay. However, it still inadvertently hides the way you look and makes it harder for someone to connect. For that reason, I still think it is a bad idea.
If you are using editing filters to literally change the way you look, I think that is incredibly deceptive and unfair to everyone else that you are talking to. Will it get you more messages? Probably. However, the second someone realizes how you actually look, even if they would have been okay with it or attracted to you in the first place, they are going to run for the hills because they know that they can’t trust you.
Reason #2 – It may be interpreted as being childish.
As I already stated, I have no problems with people of any age having fun with filters in other arenas outside of online dating. However, not everyone shares the same opinion as me. This means that if the first impression you’re giving to someone is filled with filters, they might interpret that as someone who is childish, immature, or not ready to take the dating process seriously.
Now, if you are only dating for completely casual purposes, then maybe that’s okay. However, if you are looking for a serious relationship, the chances are pretty high that you’re going to push a lot of people away because they are just going to make assumptions about you that may or may not be true.
For example, people might assume that if you use filters, that you have some sort of addiction to social media.
Is that true? It could be or it could not be. However, they are not going to give you the chance to clear up the misconception because they are just going to jump to the next profile.
Always remember that perception is reality when it comes to online dating.
Reason #3 – It can be unethical.
I touched on this a few times in the earlier sections, but I felt it was important enough to address directly here. If you are using editing filters to actually change the way that you look, please stop immediately. It might seem harmless to you, and it might seem like it will help you to have better success with online dating, but it is straight up lying to other people. It is the exact same as lying about your profession, lying about your height, or lying about literally anything.
Starting a relationship off on a lie on your dating profile, especially one that will come to light as soon as you meet in person, is just an absolutely terrible idea.
Yes, I did say that you are free to do whatever you want, but this is one exception where I really feel like using these types of filters is absolutely terrible and should stop immediately.
Jason Lee
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