The Best Pop Culture Jerks Bracket: In a Real Jerk Move, a Winner Is Crowned

The Jerks Bracket final can be summed up in one image:

That’s Shooter McGavin running off with a title that Cartman seemed to have in the bag. And this time, no one’s going to beat the ever-living hell out of Shooter—because this time, he actually won. Ladies and gentlemen, meet your champion jerk.

Happy Gilmore Productions

It was an astounding final between two jerks who really separated themselves from the pack over the week. In the final, Cartman opened up early leads on the website, X, and Instagram—but Cartman held on to only one of those leads.

He ended up taking home 54 percent of the vote on the site, but with just two hours left to go in the competition, the social polls began to flip Shooter’s way. McGavin opened up a 58 percent to 42 percent lead on Instagram, while on Twitter the votes just kept trickling in. A 53-47 deficit was cut to 52-48, then 50-50, until finally things started tilting Shooter’s way.

In the end, he obviously just wanted it more:

After he choked away the Tour Championship in Happy Gilmore, it’s hard not to feel happy for such a superior jerk: He dominated matchups against Caillou, White Goodman, Top Gun’s Iceman, Bill Lumbergh, and Biff Tannen before squeaking this one out.

He worked his whole life at being a jerk. He paid his dues. It was Shooter’s turn.

Ringer illustration

Now all those emails he was sending us about his jacket size—even though we never said we’d be giving the winning jerk any kind of trophy—look pretty cool:

As for Cartman, you have to tip your cap to a kid who just refused to go down, even though I personally wanted him to—which is, itself, a textbook jerk move. But after winning his Final Four matchup against Larry David by one single vote, he found himself on the other end of an impossibly close matchup. All told, the final was decided by just 37 votes. If there’s one silver lining for Cartman after such a devastating loss, it’s that he’ll certainly be the no. 1 overall seed whenever The Ringer decides to do the Most Annoying Characters Bracket.

Until then, thank you so much for voting in the Jerks Bracket throughout the week. It was the best Jerk-Off we could’ve hoped for.