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NEW YORK—Moaning with pleasure as they revealed that this was exactly what Daddy needed, the nation’s sick freaks held a press conference Friday to announce their plans to…
Read more Nation’s Sick Freaks Announce Plans To Get Off On ThatEight of the world’s signature flames can be yours with this collector’s set of handcrafted fires made from a variety of flammable materials from around the globe. Includes…
Read more The Onion’s 2023 Holiday Gift GuideCHICAGO—Speaking over the terminal’s intercom in preparation for an evening flight to Boston, Delta Air Lines agent Sarah Epstein reportedly called Monday for all dipshit passengers to stand…
Read more Delta Agent Calls For Dipshit Passengers To Mill About In Front Of Gate Before Their Turn To BoardOAK BROOK, IL—Exchanging weary glances as their child closed her eyes and began to breathe slowly, exhausted couple Janet and Anthony Grisham reportedly expressed relief Tuesday after their…
Read more Exhausted Couple Relieved Toddler Finally Asleep So They Can Talk Shit About Her
