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Tag: Ron DeSantis 2024 presidential campaign

  • Ron DeSantis Booed Off Stage After Flashing His Stomach

    Ron DeSantis Booed Off Stage After Flashing His Stomach

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    DES MOINES, IA—Triggering an ear-splitting backlash from voters gathered at the Iowa State Fair, Ron DeSantis was reportedly booed off stage this week after flashing his stomach on stage. Several reports indicated that DeSantis stopped speaking mid-sentence at the campaign event to lift his shirt into the air, silently exposing the entirety of his plump abdomen to the crowd of Republican voters, who immediately began heckling the candidate. According to eye witness accounts, the Florida governor attempted to regain control of the room by giving his stomach a single enthusiastic slap, which only further provoked the furious crowd to take off their own shirts, ball up the garments, and pelt the candidate, screaming “Cover up, freak” and “We want Trump’s tummy.” At press time, the DeSantis campaign had issued a statement clarifying that the candidate was trying to communicate that he was hungry to end wokeness.

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  • Financial Problems Force Ron DeSantis Campaign To Fire Wife

    Financial Problems Force Ron DeSantis Campaign To Fire Wife

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    TALLAHASSEE, FL—Faced with declining contributions as the Florida Republican competes to win his party’s nomination for the White House, Gov. Ron DeSantis’ presidential campaign announced Monday that financial problems had forced it to fire his wife, former television host Casey DeSantis. “In order to remain competitive as we prepare for next year’s primaries, we had to make some tough decisions, and unfortunately Mrs. DeSantis will no longer be a part of our team,” said campaign manager Generra Peck, explaining that, ultimately, her job was to get Ron DeSantis to the finish line, and Casey DeSantis was an unnecessary luxury. “We’re in a period of tightening our belts, so all her responsibilities of being a supportive spouse who champions her husband will be divided among the remaining campaign staffers. Once the financial situation improves, we could possibly hire her back as a part-time spousal contractor to pose for photos as DeSantis’ wife every now and then, but right now her role is not economically feasible.” Peck added that the campaign was already looking to replace DeSantis’ children with cheaper migrant labor.

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