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Tag: Mrs. Claus

  • Kringle Unwraps His Dating Profile – Marilyn Sands, Humor Times

    Kringle Unwraps His Dating Profile – Marilyn Sands, Humor Times

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    Kris Kringle

    Mrs. Claus gives Santa aka Kris Kringle aka BowlFullofJelly a ‘Deck the Halls Pass’!

    It’s true! Santa wants to trade-in the old Mrs for a brand new Better-Half-his-age on-line!

    Kris Kringle wifeKris Kringle wife

    Mrs. Claus says it’s just a phase & his new on-line pics prove it!

    Clara says, ‘What can I do? During sex Mr Kringle calls out all nine reindeer names plus his before he gets to mine: ‘Dasher, Dancer, Prancer, Vixen, Comet, Cupid, Donner, Rudolph & Blinzes’!

    Kris KringleKris Kringle

    ‘You know that old saying, ‘There may be snow on the roof, but there’s fire in the furnace’!

    ‘Ha!  Well, our furnace hasn’t worked since…Eisenhower‘!

    ‘With him, there’s always Good News & Bad News: Mr. Wonderful can find the John in the middle of the night…but can’t unbuckle his frigin’ Red Suit in time’!

    ‘He’ll find out you don’t always get what you want & I’ve got millions of Wish Lists here to prove it: Little Johnny wants a Doll, Little Susie wants a Truck & Marilyn Sands wants him to read her funny new book “CAN YOU PEE OUTDOORS?” On-Line Dating Straight Lines found on Amazon’!  

    I’m sorry!  haha

    ‘Lookie, lookie – I found my poor little dear’s Dating Profile in his sock drawer next to his Viagra!  Looks like he has 2 ‘About Me’ lists – one he posted & another in case the first one doesn’t work!

    ‘Help me decide if he’s ‘Naughty or Nice’ & whether I should take him back ‘as is’!

    • JOLLY
    • DRIVE AT NIGHT
    • WORK FROM HOME 364 DAYS A YEAR!
    • DON’T EXERCISE! Okay – get in sleigh, get out of sleigh!
    • WON’T RELOCATE – but know how to stack wood!
    • WHEN I SAY I’M OUT BOWLING – I’m out bowling!
    • ONCE HAD A FLING WITH THE TOOTH FAIRY!
    • LOVE ME SOME LAP DANCES!
    • HAVE KIDS, DON’T WANT KIDS – don’t want your kids!
    • LIKE TO RUN AROUND THE HOUSE NAKED WEARING TINSEL!
    • SMELL LIKE AN ASHTRAY!
    • WILL SHAVE MY BELOVED BEARD OFF IN EXCHANGE FOR – well, a truly benevolent gesture!

    ‘Oh look – my honey has only one deal breaker’!

    ‘He loves me’!

    Kris KringleKris Kringle

    Marilyn SandsMarilyn Sands
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  • Mrs. Claus Charts the Path for Santa in New Children’s Book

    Mrs. Claus Charts the Path for Santa in New Children’s Book

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    New children’s book written by four generations of first-born daughters shares the story of Mrs. Claus who delivers pajamas on Christmas Eve.

    Press Release
    –

    Nov 17, 2021


    CLEVELAND, November 17, 2021 (Newswire.com)
    –
    While the retail industry is facing massive toy shortages for the holiday season, the Jammie Claus Company in Cleveland, Ohio, is prepared to stock empty store shelves and ship directly to customers a new children’s book about the woman everyone knows but knows nothing about–Mrs. Claus.

    Jammie Claus: The Christmas Tradition of Unconditional Giving shares the story of Mrs. Claus, who delivers pajamas on Christmas Eve. The book comes in a beautiful box with a green velvet bag that children leave out before Christmas Eve night. As the story tells, Mrs. Claus fills the bag with pajamas and hides it around their home. When the children find the filled bag, they know Santa is on his way.

    Tradition holds that Santa gives presents on the condition that children are good. However, Mrs. Claus gives pajamas unconditionally on Christmas Eve because she wants each child to feel safe, loved, valuable, and worthy. 

    “As a social enterprise, an integral part of the Jammie Claus Company is our strong belief and commitment to help those in need by spreading unconditional love and kindness throughout the world. This vision guided our process of writing the Jammie Claus book and is the foundation to our charitable mission,” shares Dr. Megan Holmes, co-author and co-illustrator.

    Recognizing that nationally over 111,000 children will be spending Christmas Eve in a shelter, the Jammie Claus Company has partnered with several domestic violence and homeless shelters throughout the U.S. as part of their annual pajama drive. For every family pajama set donated, the Jammie Claus Company will be donating a Jammie Claus book set. You can help brighten these children’s Christmas Eve by making a donation for pajamas.

    The charitable mission is not only important to the Jammie Claus Company, but also to 44% of millennials that are choosing brands based on the brand’s values and purpose, a recent study by McKinsey finds. Grandparents also enjoy starting a tradition that will be passed on for generations to come. “Our customers feel good about purchasing a product that supports giving back to nonprofits that empower women and promote resilience in children,” said Holmes. 

    About Jammie Claus Company: The Jammie Claus Company is a social enterprise committed to empowering women and promoting resilience in children. Our vision is to spread unconditional love and kindness. The Jammie Claus book was written by four generations of first-born daughters–Dr. Megan Holmes’s daughter (Madeline Holmes), mother (Dr. Linda O’Dell), and grandmother (Diana Schneider).

    www.JammieClaus.com

    Instagram & Facebook: @JammieClaus

    Contact: 

    Laura Coghlin

    Jammie Claus Company

    (216) 202-5199

    hello@jammieclaus.com

    Source: Jammie Claus Company

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