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Tag: Christian women faith

  • Are We Doing Community Right?

    Are We Doing Community Right?

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    We all like the idea of community, but do we know how to implement it? We know God created us to be in communion with Him and others. God Himself is a community of Father, Son, and Holy Spirit. The New Testament models community, and the modern church talks about it, but are we doing it?

    For most, a community is defined as a safe place to be accepted and fully supported without friction. While this sounds ideal, it is impossible to achieve because everyone holds their own opinions on every topic in existence. After twelve years of intentionally studying the Bible, I concluded that God’s idea of community requires vulnerability, humility, and service to one another. And God’s opinions are the only ones I’m concerned about.

    Galatians 6 has many good examples of community—I encourage you to read it. Galatians 6:2 (NLT) says, “Share each other’s burdens, and in this way obey the law of Christ. If you think you are too important to help someone, you are only fooling yourself. You are not that important.”

    While I understand the beauty and value of being in a community and sharing each other’s burdens, the appeal fades when I realize that vulnerability ensures pain. Humility requires giving more than we take, and service requires surrendering what we think we need. Submitting yourself to a life of service to the kingdom means you will be inconvenienced.

    Beyond knowing that community requires vulnerability, humility, and service, we must know how to implement these characteristics; otherwise, they are empty words. James 5:16 (NLT) says, “Confess your sins to each other and pray for each other so that you may be healed. The earnest prayer of a righteous person has great power and produces wonderful results.” To confess requires vulnerability and humility, and it’s there that we find results. How can we expect to grow and glorify God without confessing our struggles or sins?

    Acts 2:42 (NLT) shares a picture of true community: “All the believers devoted themselves to the apostles’ teaching, and to fellowship, and to sharing in meals (including the Lord’s Supper), and to prayer.” Once these people accepted the gospel message, they started doing life together; they served one another. Today’s church slightly resembles this original church, but we have a long way to go. They modeled humility and service to one another by sharing food and resources. Living, traveling, and sharing your belongings with other people you just met implies vulnerability and trust that God will take care of you.

    What Hinders Community in the Church

    In forty-four years, I’ve seen something consistent in the church that hinders true community. We may have great discussions about being honest with our struggles or hardships, but there’s also a stiffness around its practicality.

    Many times, after sharing a struggle or being honest about my emotions, I receive a message that says, “You’ll have to figure this out on your own.” People may offer to pray for me but may also look down on me because I need help. However, God says we will always need help because we aren’t Him. If we could break that cycle of shaming those who are brave enough to share their struggles, we’d begin to see true community.

    When we encourage others to be honest with their struggles and then shame them for needing help, we send a very confusing message. I don’t think we intentionally do this, but maybe if we were aware, we could end the cycle.

    We hinder our community when we choose pride over humility. No one likes to be humble. We want to shine, and we don’t want to be stepped on, but we are called to humility. God’s Word says that to follow Him we must be humble, and Jesus modeled humility even though He is God wrapped in flesh. (See James 4:10, Luke 14:11.) And Proverbs teaches that the humble gain wisdom and have the fear of the Lord (Prov. 11:2, 22:4). We want to have the fear of the Lord. If we don’t fear the Lord, we fear man; when we fear man, we make him our god.

    “Don’t be selfish; don’t try to impress others. Be humble, thinking of others as better than yourselves. Don’t look out only for your own interests, but take an interest in others, too. You must have the same attitude that Christ Jesus had. Though he was God, he did not think of equality with God as something to cling to. Instead, he gave up his divine privileges; he took the humble position of a slave and was born as a human being. When he appeared in human form, he humbled himself in obedience to God and died a criminal’s death on a cross.” Philippians 2:3-8 (NLT)

    We hinder our community when we are inauthentic. Instead of being honest about our lives with Christ, we put up walls. We value our privacy, homes, and families. I know that I do, and it’s because that’s what’s been modeled to me my entire life. It’s difficult to break away from. Could I live the way the early church did? I hope so, but it would be a tough transition. I am willing, but a vital element of community is that it involves other people. So, are we willing to let go of what we know and live as the Church?

    I’m the first to admit that while I can be vulnerable by sharing what’s going on in my life, I’m better at securing what I think I need to be safe and secure. Most of us excel at protecting ourselves, even if the effort is futile. We only think we are protecting ourselves with our material and emotional safeguards. The hard truth is that God’s plans have been in motion since the beginning of time, and our options are to fall in line and experience God’s blessings along the way or struggle on our own with nothing to show for it in the end.

    We hinder our community when we choose selfishness. We live in a time of extreme selfishness. We call it self-care, protecting our peace, or human rights, and I get it. Life is painful. I understand why we turn inward and demand that others make us feel good. We live in a fallen world, which means we have many hurts. I agree that hurt people hurt people; that famous phrase hits the nail on the head. Jesus understands why we turn inward, too; He has seen it from the beginning, the fall of man. But just because He understands doesn’t mean He celebrates our choice.

    Humility strengthens the Spirit, and you may even see God move miraculously. Even though God gives grace to the humble and opposes the proud (James 4:6), our blessing may not be as tangible as we like. It’s experienced when we live with a kingdom mindset, so it’s no wonder we don’t see others clamoring for humility. Our culture loves instant gratification, quick fixes, status, security, and power, but those things won’t last when Jesus returns. It’s better to practice humbling ourselves now to please God.

    Why Is Community Important?

    Community is important because it’s part of God’s design for us. He never wanted us to do life alone. We can go back to the beginning of creation and see that God intended us to do life with the Father, Son, and Holy Spirit.

    1 Corinthians 12:12-14 (NLT) tells us, “The human body has many parts, but the many parts make up one whole body. So it is with the body of Christ. Some of us are Jews, some are Gentiles, some are slaves, and some are free. But we have all been baptized into one body by one Spirit, and we all share the same Spirit.” It goes on to say that living as the Body of Christ creates harmony. Doesn’t that sound like a wonderful idea in our divided world?

    Romans, Ephesians, Colossians, and Hebrews all refer to Christians as one body. Body parts stick together. The brain (Christ) tells us how to work, and when we listen, the body moves beautifully.

    Living in a community as the Body of Christ requires a lot of surrender but so does following Jesus. I am thankful for the grace God has extended to us, and I’m not sure how many of us will succeed in living surrendered, humble, vulnerable lives serving Christ in the Kingdom, but I know we have to try. I know where to start, though. In communion with God in His Word. He’s laid the foundation, and all we need to do is take the time to study it and draw close to Him each day.

    Photo Credit: ©Unsplash/Brooke Cagle

    Vanessa Luu is a wife, mother, and faith-based writer. She speaks and writes to believers to encourage them to live authentically with God.

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    Vanessa Luu

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  • Do I Really Have to Hate My Mother and Father to Love Jesus?

    Do I Really Have to Hate My Mother and Father to Love Jesus?

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    The Bible is full of history and wisdom needed to guide our lives. But some sections of the Bible are confusing and, if we don’t understand the context, concerning. Am I really supposed to hate my family? Taken at face value, Jesus plainly told us that we must hate not only our mothers and fathers but our entire family and ourselves. In Luke 14:26, He says, “If anyone comes to Me and does not hate father and mother, wife and children, brothers and sisters—yes, even their own life—such a person cannot be my disciple.” That seems awfully harsh and even makes me question Jesus. Why would the embodiment of Love itself tell us to hate so many people? Does He really mean it?

    We have to recognize that Jesus sometimes spoke in hyperbole, which exaggerated statements not meant to be taken literally. You and I speak in hyperbole often. My children, who refuse to wear coats, shout, “I’m freezing!” As dinnertime approaches, I say, “I’m starving!” When my husband comes home from a rough day at work, he says, “I had the worst day.” All of these are exaggerations that make the point we are seeking without being the absolute facts. 

    Jesus sometimes spoke in hyperbole in His parables. In Matthew 5:29-30, Jesus says, “If your right eye causes you to stumble, gouge it out and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to be thrown into hell. And if your right hand causes you to stumble, cut it off and throw it away. It is better for you to lose one part of your body than for your whole body to go into hell.” Shortly after, He commands us to, “Be perfect…as your heavenly Father is perfect” (Matthew 5:48). Later, He tells His followers, “It is easier for a camel to go through the eye of a needle than for a rich man to enter the Kingdom of God” (Matthew 19:24). Jesus offended many people when He “said to them, ‘Very truly I tell you, unless you eat the flesh of the Son of Man and drink His blood, you have no life in you” (John 6:53). 

    All of these are examples of Jesus using hyperbole to make His point. While not to be taken literally, these statements are examples of the bigger picture, the truth that Jesus is always pointing us to–that He is better than anything we could ever imagine, and the sacrifices that we must make in this short life are nothing compared to the beauty of eternal life with Him. Jesus’ hyperbole reminds us that earning our salvation is impossible and that “it is by grace you have been saved, through faith…not by works” (Ephesians 2:8-9). 

    Love

    Knowing that Jesus used hyperbole, how can we know what He meant in Luke 14:26? The best way to interpret Scripture is with Scripture. We compare the information we have to the overall theme of the Bible. If something goes against the Bible, it is not true. When we look at one verse, we do not have the full picture. Yes, Luke 14:26 tells us to hate our mother and father, but while considering the use of hyperbole, we must compare that to the numerous verses that tell us to love others:

    “Honor your father and your mother, so that you may live long in the land the Lord your God is giving you.” Exodus 20:12

    “Whoever claims to love God yet hates a brother or sister is a liar. For whoever does not love their brother and sister, whom they have seen, cannot love God, whom they have not seen.” (1 John 4:20)

    “Love your neighbor as yourself.” (Matthew 22:39)

    “Each of you must respect your mother and father…” (Leviticus 19:3)

    “Listen to your father, who gave you life, and do not despise your mother when she is old.” (Proverbs 23:22) 

    “Children, obey your parents in everything, for this pleases the Lord.” (Colossians 3:20)

    “But if a widow has children or grandchildren, these should learn first of all to put their religion into practice by caring for their own family and so repaying their parents and grandparents, for this pleasing to God.” (1 Timothy 5:4)

    “Anyone who curses their father or mother is to be put to death.” (Exodus 21:17) 

    Considering all of these verses, and many more throughout the Bible, that speak of loving others and ourselves, it is clear that God prioritizes love and wants us to respect our parents. (Of course, this does not mean subjecting yourself to abuse. If you have a difficult or dangerous relationship with a family member, you can love them from afar through prayer to keep yourself safe.) So why did Jesus tell us to hate?

    What Does It Mean?

    When Jesus tells us to hate our mother and father, He is using hyperbole to speak to a bigger point. One of the Ten Commandments is “You shall have no other gods before me” (Exodus 20:3). When God says, “No,” He means it. Not even our mother or father shall be a god before Him. We should not treat ourselves as a god before Him. Jesus does not want us to hate our family; He clearly wants us to care for them. But He absolutely does not want us to worship anyone over Him. 

    The Bible speaks of physical idols that people created, but an idol can be anything that we worship or esteem above God. When we admire something more than God, then we have created an idol. In respecting and loving others, we must ensure they do not come before God. If what my mom thinks of me is more important than what God thinks of me, then I have made my mom an idol. If spending time with my dad is my priority over spending time with the Lord, then I have made my dad an idol. 

    When Jesus was asked to name the greatest commandment, He replied, “Love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind” (Matthew 22:37). When He said to hate our mother and father, He meant in comparison to our love for him. No one, not our selfish desires or even our parents, should get in the way of our love for the Lord. To be His disciples, we must be willing to have boundaries with others and always put the Lord first. 

    How can we care for our families and still put the Lord first? In all your love and serving or “whatever you do, work at it with all your heart, as working for the Lord” (Colossians 3:23). When you seek the Lord first, the Holy Spirit works to help you “flee from idolatry” (1 Corinthians 10:14). It may seem impossible, “but not with God; all things are possible with God” (Mark 10:27). Continue to honor your parents, care for your family, be kind to your siblings, and love yourself. But do not let anyone come before the Lord your God.

    Photo Credit: ©Getty Images/Aaron Amat

    Megan Moore is a military spouse and mom of 3 (through birth and adoption). A speech-language pathologist by training, she now spends her time moving around the country every couple of years. She is passionate about special needs, adoption, and ice cream.

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    Megan Moore

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