A few weeks ago I was outside a wine bar in Hong Kong with a client. Five metres away, a British woman in her fifties stood holding two glasses of wine, waiting for someone.
I looked at her and said, “A lady shouldn’t be holding two glasses. Give one to me until your company arrives.” She laughed and obliged. We started talking. A minute later her husband joined us.
My client is an investment banker. The husband turned out to be senior at another global bank. By the end of the night they had exchanged contacts. They are still in touch.
It started because nobody in that moment decided to play small.
Most men treat presence like a switch. Off by default. On only when a beautiful woman appears. That is a small way to move through the world.
The woman was in her fifties. There was nothing to chase. That is exactly why it worked. It was not a move. It was ease, and a willingness to speak first. And that small opening connected two senior bankers.
Do not just seduce, charm and interact with youth and looks. Do not save your best self for the moments you think will pay off. Open up wider. Be present whether there is everything to gain or nothing at all.
That is when life hands you doors you did not know were there.
How do I become good with coming up spontaneous and lighthearted lines?
It takes time to free up your mind layers that allows your brains creative neurons to interact with each other and come up with lines in the moment.
Few seconds before I open my mouth to say about the wine glasses line to the woman in the above example, I was just observing her.
While observing her, my mind was free of any chatter like: “What can I say to her?”, “What do I see now?”, “I think I am looking too much”.
This free-ness in my mind allowed thoughts to seep in about the most revelant present moment.
The key part is observing without any chatter.
The more you practice this, the better you will be in untangling the layers of mind.
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