In Ask Coach Tony, you can put my Operation Melt coaching to the test by asking me questions about how to achieve your goals.
Because a question asked by one is often a question had by many, I am regularly sharing these answers via the Operation Melt blog.
Amuse-Bouche Before we jump into today's post, I offer you this "dad joke" as a light "amuse-bouche" to entertain your mind before we get serious. Like any other amuse-bouche, you may hate it, but it is worth every penny you paid for it, right? What do they call Miley Cyrus in Europe? Kilometery Cyrus!
I Can’t Believe He Called Me That!
Coach Tony: My doctor recently used the “A” word in an appointment… he called me an athlete. I was taken aback because I don’t think I’m an athlete. While I exercise a lot, my performance isn’t anything impressive, and I am not competing with anybody. Could I really be an athlete and not know it?
Oh, I’ve been there, my friend. I shared a similar story in Operation Melt: How I Used Life-Changing Project Management to Lose Over 100 Pounds in Under a Year:
I had done lots of research and opinions varied widely regarding how much protein I should be trying to consume every day. So, I asked my doctor about it…. he said, “Based on your level of exercise, you need to be looking at the protein targets for athletes.”
Wait, what?! Did my doctor just call me an “athlete”? Just a few months ago, I was stepping on his scale and found out that I was 325 pounds. I had no idea of any of my vitals or other aspects of my health. I was in terrible shape and blissfully ignorant about it. Then, just eight months later, he was calling me an athlete. Wow!
Why is it so shocking when a medical professional refers to you as an “athlete” when you don’t see yourself that way? There are two factors at play here: identity and vocabulary.
Identity Conflict
Unexpectedly being told you are an “athlete” disrupts your understanding of your identity.
We all have words we are accustomed to hearing regarding the personas we live in. I expect people to use terms like project manager, consultant, husband, coach, friend, etc. I even have some that are said in jest but still apply – nerd comes to mind. If you refer to me as any of those things, it fits my view of my identity and feels normal.
Conversely, if you refer to me as something that doesn’t fit with my view of my identity, it feels out of place or foreign. This foreign version of my identity disrupts how I think of myself and is momentarily jarring.
I could try to explain the associated thought processes, but I think it’s better to quote The Humpty Dance(yeah, that’s right):
All right, stop whatcha doin’ ’cause I’m about to ruin
The image and the style that ya used to
When an authority figure (such as a physician) says this, it causes you to recalibrate what you think about your own identity… which feels weird.
In time, you’ll become more accustomed to this revised version of your identity, and it will begin to feel normal. Give yourself time.
Not That Athlete
The second reason being called an “athlete” is so jarring is more practical… it’s about vocabulary.
Do you know what an athlete is?
When you were called “athlete,” what was the definition you thought of for that word? Did you actually think “professional athlete” (think Serena Williams) or “competitive athlete” (think Simone Biles)? There’s no denying that Serena and Simone are both elite, competitive athletes. But that isn’t the only form of athlete that exists – and they were athletes far before they became household names!
There are many types of athletes in the world, and they aren’t all elite, competitive athletes… there are hundreds of amateur athletes for every elite athlete in America. Just because you aren’t a candidate for the Olympics doesn’t mean you aren’t an athlete.
Let’s create a more realistic definition of “athlete.”
Athlete: someone who routinely engages in a challenging form of sport or physical activity and pushes themselves to continually improve their performance.
With that revised definition in mind, are you an athlete? Do you routinely engage in some form of physical activity? Does your activity challenge you? Are you pushing yourself to improve your performance? Congratulations, you’re an athlete…. wear your new identity proudly!
One more tip: nobody else gets to judge your identity or what you think of yourself. It doesn’t matter who else thinks of you as an athlete if you think of yourself as an athlete.
Do you need help getting past the shock of being called the “A” word? Do you have goals of being an athlete (the realistic definition) but aren’t sure how to get started? Let’s chat… I am a certified Master Life Coach and a Health coach, and I can help you build a life of happiness and satisfaction one goal at a time.
I believe in you and want to help YOU believe in you!
Please visit the Operation Melt coaching page and submit a non-obligation inquiry form.
Meet Coach Tony
My name is Coach Tony, and I am a coach, author and project manager on a mission. I am working to build a world where no goal ever dies of loneliness.
I almost allowed one of my biggest life goals to die without ever being attempted for forty years. My goal almost died, not of failure but of loneliness. But, I took a risk and leveraged a simple, logical process that helped me wildly exceed my goal.
I transformed my life, and you can do the same with the help of Operation Melt.
Operation Melt provides engaging, practical content and hands-on coaching to inspire, motivate and equip project managers and other left-brained high-achievers to pursue and accomplish their biggest goals.
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Tony Weaver
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