The internet has bashed a mom for changing the flavor of her stepdaughter’s birthday cake to the flavor her daughter wanted instead.
Published on Reddit‘s r/AmITheA**hole forum, a dad under the anonymous username u/Am535799 shared his story in order to receive the opinions of the “AITA” community.
The original poster (OP) began his story by explaining that he has one daughter named “Olivia” from a previous relationship and now has a stepdaughter named “Britney” from his current marriage with his wife. He also noted that Olivia and Britney are the “complete opposite” of one another.
The OP explained that the conflict arose after he decided to order Olivia a chocolate cake for her birthday and how he was going to call a bakery to put his order in. However, his wife argued that Britney “absolutely hates” chocolate and suggested that he order vanilla instead.
The problem was, Olivia didn’t like vanilla and told his wife that since it was Olivia’s birthday, he was going to get her favorite flavor. In response, his wife got upset, saying that he had “no regard” for Britney and that he should choose a “neutral” flavor instead. He ended the conversation, sticking with his decision.
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The OP said, “At the day of the birthday, I was supposed to go get the cake but I was surprised to see my wife coming home after picking up the cake from the bakery. I looked at it and discovered that it wasn’t a chocolate cake but a vanilla cake with small pieces of chocolate on top.”
“I got pissed thinking they got my order wrong and was about to contact them, but my wife said there was no mistake and that she called the bakery the day before and made ‘slight changes’ to the cake to please both girls. I was stunned. I lost it on her and asked why the hell she did that. She got defensive saying that birthdays are no ‘excuse’ to show favoritism and that her daughter is ‘watching’ and ‘observing’ how I’m treating both girls,” he continued.
He called the bakery, told them what happened and got the cake replaced with a chocolate one.
He wrote that his wife didn’t want to take part in the celebration, which led to a huge argument where she called him “controlling” and “selfish” for returning the cake. He argued that his daughter should be able to act “selfish” on her birthday.
Newsweek has reached out to u/Am535799 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
Newsweek has published several articles regarding conflicts within a family, including a teen who “replaced” her family after learning she was a product of an affair, a teen who caused a scene at a family dinner over some “lady problems” and a teen who got her family, including her pregnant stepsister, evicted.
Favoritism in the family
“In some families, there may be clear signs that a parent is favoring one child over another—spending more time with that child, giving the child more material items, attending one child’s competitions and not another,” Susan Newman, Ph.D., social psychologist and author of Little Things Long Remembered: Making Your Children Feel Special Every Day, told Newsweek, “BUT, most parents strive to avoid favoritism or the perception of it even if they favor one of their children.”
Newman also explained that some children can’t grasp the idea that other children in the family may need more attention and time from a parent.
The social psychologist discussed potential quotes said by children if they feel unfavored, including: “You like her better than me,” or “Why do you always help my brother?” Even if a parent is not favoring their children, that’s a child’s perception and the tiniest slight can set off that pattern of feeling left out or neglected in favor of a sibling, Newman said.
Redditor reactions
“[Not the a**hole] Your wife is an a**hole for going behind your back. The cake was basically vanilla to make Britney happy, with tiny bits of chocolate for the birthday girl,” u/luvduvbunny said, receiving the top comment of over 25,000 upvotes.
“[Not the a**hole] Your wife is projecting onto you, because she is the one showing favoritism. You signed up for this, OP. You signed your daughter up for this. Welcome to the wind-up,” u/LetThemEatHay explained.
“[Not the a**hole]. Your wife is bonkers. Everyone is entitled to special treatment on their birthday. Your wife is acting entitled. She tried to present you with a fait accompli after not being able to persuade you to see it her way. She’s now trying to emotionally manipulate you,” u/borisslovechild commented.
U/flyingfred1027 exclaimed, “Why didn’t she just get her daughter a vanilla cupcake? Switching the entire cake is such a weird, underhanded thing to do. She truly made a mountain out of [a] molehill. [Not the a**hole].”
