Modern Dating Terms You Need To Know

In this article, I will be teaching you all about modern dating terms that you need to know. I will go through each dating term so that you understand the meaning and are able to navigate the modern dating world. What is benching in dating? What is breadcrumbing in dating? What is cuffing in dating? What is cushioning in dating? What is daterview? What is deepliking? What is DM slide? What is DTR? What is a fluffer in dating? What is ghosting? What is a half night stand? What is haunting in dating? What is kittenfishing? What is love bombing? What is pie hunting in dating? What is a polyamorous relationship? What is recycling in dating? What is being R-Bombed? What is the redpill in dating? What is a several night stand? What is situationship in dating? What is slow fade in dating? What is sober first kiss? What is stashing in dating? What is the tunday test in dating? What is tater tot in dating? What is a text black hole? What is textlationship? What is a turbo relationship? What is uber-radius in dating? What is vulturing in dating? What is zumping in dating?

Modern dating terms that you need to know. In this article, I am first of all going to have a laugh because some of these terms are hilarious. But more importantly, if you are single and you are dating, in modern times, you actually need to know what these terms are. First of all to know what is happening in your dating interactions,  but also they teach you more about yourself because when you are doing a certain behaviour with someone that you like you realize that there is a term for it and then just recognizing, hang on a second, I am exhibiting a certain behaviour here. This helps you to stop that behaviour and regain your composure. So I am going to go through these now. Some of these are brilliant and it is just fun to know.

Therefore let’s start off with benching what is benching. Benching is when you do not really want to date someone seriously. It is almost like having a football player and you keep him on the bench. Then if you need him you can use him. Now if you are benching people then you can first of all be aware of this because it means that that person is not that high on your priorities list. It also helps you know if you have been benched right? So the girl is not quite as into you, not messaging you as much. You might get an occasional message from her perhaps. In effect, she has benched you. Now in this situation what you can do is two things.  You can just accept that you have been benched. And if you like this girl and you are happy with that then fine. Yet if you have realized you have been benched, you would be like right I have had enough of this. I am putting in a transfer. I am done and I want to move on to dating someone else. So be aware if you have been benched.

The second one is called breadcrumbing. So what is breadcrumbing? This is when you are essentially stringing someone along, so if you don’t want to break up with them or you are not serious about dating them but you feel bad about it what you tend to do is to just give them a few breadcrumbs. So if they have messaged you and you don’t want to reply, but you feel bad you will send them a halfhearted reply. What breadcrumbing does is it strings people along so you don’t feel bad about telling them the truth. I am not a fan of it. I think it is inauthentic. Moreover, if you have been breadcrumbed it is horrible and if you are breadcrumbing someone else you are better off doing one of two things. Either telling that person the truth and saying look it’s nice to meet you but it’s not going to work. Or if you really don’t want to give someone a rejection, you just don’t reply. I am not an advocate of not replying, but it is better than breadcrumbing.

Additionally, you know breadcrumbing someone is all about you and your insecurities and has nothing to do with the other person. I am not a fan of it. Instead, I think you should take control of your life and if you have invited someone into your life and you have exchanged details you have got to take accountability for that. So breadcrumbing for me is pretty poor. Don’t do it. Rather, just be honest with someone and tell them the truth.

Coughing. So what is coughing? Coughing is when you get together with someone for the winter months because dating and finding other options is harder. This one really made me laugh. It’s like okay well we’re getting into October/ November and things are getting cold. I don’t really want to go out and meet someone. Who do I know? All right well let’s just date them for two to three months. So that is what coughing is. Each to their own. If that is something you want to do great. Obviously, I wouldn’t advocate explaining it exactly in those terms to someone. Still, having a short to medium-term relationship over the winter months is fine, as long as you are upfront. Also, say that you are not really into doing the long-term thing, but medium-term could work well. So that for me again is to be open and honest and direct. Regardless, that is called cuffing. I didn’t even know about that word until recently.

Cushioning. What is cushioning? Now, this is where you are in a serious relationship but you are texting and interacting with other people. So you have a cushion if your relationship comes to an end. This is where you are not fully committed to dating the person that you are in a relationship with. It is almost like you are 70% in. Yet if it doesn’t work out you need a few cushions over here. Let me give you the reality of that as a guy. If you are a girl then yes you can have loads of cushions because guys will be around as soon as you want them to be, so you can do that. However, as a guy it doesn’t quite work the same way. So you might try and set up some cushions if you are in a relationship but three/ six/ nine months down the line all that effort and work you have put into into setting up these cushions their life has moved on. Therefore, it is not just a case of having a cushion. At that point, my advice is if you are going to be in a relationship just commit to being in that relationship okay? There are many types of relationships that we will get into.  Yet whatever that relationship is commit to the parameters that you are accepting. It will make your life easier. Also with full commitment, you are much more likely to have a better relationship because you are not on your phone; you are not looking for things. It is just better to commit within the parameters of what you have agreed.

Date view. Now, what is a date view? It is when a date that feels like a job interview. I talk about this all the time. So, I host dating confidence courses for guys and one of the worst things you can do is interview women. Questions like: what’s your name? What do you do for a living? How old are how old? Are you on a break? From that matrix, all you need to do is to make those questions statements.  I bet you have a creative job.I bet you have a foreign name. You don’t sound like you are from around here.  You take the interview type questions and you make them more fun by making them statements. When you make statements you are giving value. That will stop you from having date views with women instantaneously.

Deep liking. What exactly is deep liking? This is when you first meet a girl that you like and then what you do is you go onto Instagram or Facebook. You go back to historical photos and videos and you like them. It is called deep liking so you are almost showing that you have taken the attention to scroll through everything and you like things from her past. I am not a big fan of this. It has got a name though, so if you find yourself deep liking women just stop. If you like her just like her most recent post. Or maybe you can like one previous one, but if you genuinely like it. Do not just go back and start liking all of her old stuff. It is a bit too keen and a bit too desperate.

A dm slide. What is a dm slide? This is when you are first meeting someone, perhaps on Instagram. You haven’t met in person and you send her a message and you slide into her dm. In my experience, these do not really work. Now I am going to add an addition to that – They do not tend to work with the girls that I work with. So I hire top fashion models to work for me on my dating conference courses, and they get dms all the time. They do not even read them, so for me and the girls that I hire that are in my social circle, dm sliding is an utter waste of time. However, speaking to other people I do hear that you can get some results doing that. It is just best to stay away from models because they are going to get probably at least 50 a day and you are not even going to get them to read it. Therefore do not waste your time.

dtr. What does dtr mean? It means define the relationship now. This is a really interesting term because when do you do that? Say for example you want a long-term relationship, do you want to say that at the start potentially put a girl off? What if you want a short-term relationship? What do you do then? dtr is a nightmare because you want to be open and upfront, yet you do not want to put someone off. So what do you do? Here is what you do. You just focus on having fun instead when you first meet someone. And if you like them, then just spend time together. Do fun stuff, have fun, flirt connect. Just enjoy your time together. I guarantee what will happen is that the dtr conversation will come from the girl that likes you, and not from you to her. If you are bringing it up with her you are likely to put her off, so do not even bother to define a relationship. Bench it or don’t do it. Focus on having fun and making your dates engaging, then the conversation will come from the girl that you like. You will not have to worry about it.

so a fluffer what is a fluffer i love this tab this is basically someone who tells everyone else to be in a relationship but doesn’t end up in a relationship themselves i think we’ve all got a friend like this they tell you relationships are great go for a relationship they’re the way forward they’re big advocates of being in a relationship when you look at their life they’re not in a relationship at all so these are people that prepare to enter relationships but never do they’re called fluffers and we all know them and i guess if you want some advice on how to not be a fluffer i would say that you’re falling into the nice guy territory you’re trying too hard to demonstrate empathy to listen and to connect and you’re missing the flirting element which is breaking rapport i’ve done a whole series on flirting breaking rapport with women if you want to learn more about that just type in gary gunn flirting with women there’s loads of it but if you want to be in a relationship don’t be a fluffer it’s the worst thing ghosting so what is ghosting ghosting is when you suddenly stop replying to someone i hate this word because it indicates that you’re a victim and victim mentality will get you nowhere in your dating life it’s like oh i was messaging this girl it’s going well and then she ghosted me no she just decided not to text you back and guess what you’re never going to know why and as soon as you take that mindset she ghosted me you’re turning into a victim she’s doing something to you you’re not the protagonist in your own story you’re the person that’s acted upon victim mentality will kill your dating chances it will ruin your life you have to become the main actor she didn’t reply to your message what are you going to do well there’s a few things you can make sure your messages are on point next time and they’re better or you can make your messages with a time constraint if you’re asking her out for a date let me know by midday tomorrow there’s always something that you can do if someone’s ghosted you it’s your fault not theirs so stop playing the victim get rid of the word ghosted i’ve been ghosted from your vocabulary because it is your problem and when you say someone i’ve been ghosted what do you think i’m thinking when someone says that to me well it’s your fault mate what do you want me to say to that i’m not going to have pity or empathize with you so get rid of ghosting from your vocabulary the next one is hilarious and i love it it’s called a half night stand what is a half night stand it is like a one night stand but is only for half the night so essentially is when you hook up together and then one of the parties leaves straight away okay new word for me half night stand and absolutely hilarious but could you imagine if everyone actually knew what that meant so if you are going to have a sexual encounter with someone and you say to them let’s have a half night stand you’re being object you’re being like right at the start you’re telling them exactly what you want and you’re not giving someone mixed signals they know what you want from the start they can either say yes or no and actually i quite like it so you can add half nights down to vocabulary i’m happy with that one haunting what is haunting so this is where someone breaks up with you yet they consistently follow you on instagram and they keep following you why is this important because when you look at your feed you can see who’s looking at it i can’t tell you how many times in fact in the last three days two girls that work for me have had their boyfriends break up with them yet they still follow them on social media i’m like end it block them okay once you end a relationship or someone ends a relationship with you block them on social media otherwise they’re always going to be a part of your life i’m going to say that again the best way to look after your mental well-being is to block people on instagram after you’ve exited a long-term or medium-term relationship there’s no value in letting them know what you’re doing and there’s even less value in seeing what they’re doing one of the girls i’m talking about got really upset and was crying on a night out because she saw a photo of her ex-boyfriend with another girl what’s the benefit of that what’s the value of even looking at his instagram story there is none so for me when you break up with someone or they break up with you cut contact this means phone number and social media you may think it’s harsh but it will look after your mental well-being.

kitten fishing what is kitten fishing again a great word so catfish is when you pretend to be someone you’re not online kitten fishing is when you accentuate parts of yourself online so that people like you more right who’s guilty of kitten fishing everyone is guilty of kissing fishing why because everyone accentuates parts of their personality now this could be even the way that you dress to accentuate certain parts of your physique okay everyone kitten fishes is just what we do why is this important because you should take it into account when you’re online dating if you’re meeting someone online you should take into account that certain elements have definitely been exaggerated and accentuated

and also that you have also exaggerated parts of your personality this is just standard with online dating with instagram look online and then go and meet someone you’ll see exactly what i’m talking about love bombing that have you heard about this one before so love bombing what is it this is when you meet someone new and they show you huge amounts of affection it’s called a love bomb they literally throw themselves at you give you everything and guess what happens as soon as you commit they don’t want to know okay they’re not interested it’s essentially manipulative behavior to get what they want and as soon as they get what they want they lose interest and they move on it’s called love bombing be aware of it if someone’s really full on with you early on in a dating interaction i’m quite mindful and think okay is this sustainable no so i would put boundaries in place i wouldn’t reply as often i wouldn’t see them as much because i’m quite obvious that they’re love bombing you okay so or they’re very insecure in which case do you want to enter a relationship with someone like that probably not pie hunting i don’t even hear about this one so what is pie hunting this is where someone deliberately goes after women or men that are broken and they see them as low maintenance and easy to hook up with it’s called pie hunting so you go out and you look for people that are emotionally vulnerable and then you date them because it’s easier i’m not a fan of that i think if you want to date someone aim high don’t go for vulnerable people or if you meet vulnerable people bring them up to your level okay help them don’t take advantage of them i mean pie hunting i’m not really a fan of the word i get it but for me it’s a bit you know why would you bother why would you not just elevate yourself and find someone on an equal level or a higher level and elevate so if you if you do meet someone that’s vulnerable try and help them rather than trying to take advantage that’s probably a good idea so polyamorous what is a polyamorous relationship this is where you are in a relationship but you’re allowed to hook up with other people so one of the girls that works for me is in a polyamorous relationship and she loves it she says that there’s no lying there’s no manipulation they’re upfront about everything their relationship’s never going to end because they’re happy with each other and all the lying and conceit doesn’t happen because they’re in a polyamorous relationship they started in a normal relationship and after a few years trangressed into a polyamorous relationship my thoughts on this are i have no idea what their relationship’s like on a day-to-day basis they seem happy so for me if you want to enter a polyamorous relationship it’s probably something that you should discuss before going into a relationship and here’s how you do it say you’re dating a girl that you like and you haven’t entered into a relationship you say to her oh one of my friends is in a polyamorous relationship blah blah blah this is what they do what do you think about that that’s a great way of finding out very early on whether she’s interested in a polyamorous relationship then you can make a call do i want to have a relationship with this girl under the normal parameters or would i rather date a different girl because she’s not keen on this it’s worth having that discussion earlier it’s not it’s not a defining relationship it’s a clever way of working out whether she’s interested in the same type of relationship as you so are bombed what is being r bombed now we are all are bombed every day this is when people read your messages and they don’t reply i mean i guess we feel like they don’t reply sometimes they might take a day but we all feel our bomb don’t we we all feel like oh well this person’s read it and they haven’t replied yet or they’ve seen my message on insta and they’ve posted and they haven’t replied there’s a term it’s called r bombed okay get over it it happens to everyone we’re all busy we don’t necessarily find time but there is a word for it have you been r bombed again i don’t like it you’re playing the victim not really a fan of it so this brings us on to the red pill i actually watched the matrix last night but anyway what is the red pill so there’s like a red pill there’s a blue pill there’s a black pill i’m gonna be doing a video on those in detail so if you don’t know what they are i’m going to go into massive details so you know everything essentially it’s a movement that started on reddit and it’s where people share stories about women ruining their life that’s a sort of easy introduction into it but it’s a different way of looking at dating i think with all these things any extreme is bad but i think any movement probably has some truth to it so i’m not going to say the red pill blue pill black pill is good or bad i’m going to say that any extreme of any of these is not good but let’s analyze what they have to say so i’m going to do a video on that so make sure you subscribe and turn my notifications on so you don’t miss it because that’s upcoming and that’s that’s going to be a really interesting video actually because if you’re not aware of it i’ll open your mind if you are aware of it i’m going to get rid of loads of nonsense and get to the core of the things that can help you the next one’s funny several night stand so what is a several nightstand it’s when you hook up with someone and you do it multiple times without being in a relationship again just being aware of it it doesn’t need to be a one-night stand one of my clients recently was dating a girl they got they hooked up once it was she made it clear it wasn’t going to be a relationship she messaged him the next weekend does he want to come around tonight okay she’s looking for a several night stand there’s no there’s no problem with it it’s just being aware of what they are okay that is a several night stand so situation ship what is a situation ship this is where you are constantly unaware of the relationship that you’re in so one minute you’re dating each other you’re doing loads of stuff then you don’t see each other for three weeks okay you don’t know where you’re at in this situation and this is where a define the relationship conversation can come up if you’re unhappy with it you can say oh it’s interesting how come one week we’re doing this and the next week we’re not that’s the best way of doing it don’t say what’s a relationship it’s the worst thing you can do one week we’re doing this the other way we’re doing that what’s going on how come it’s like that great question you’ll get to the nuts and bolts of what that relationship looks like for the woman that you’re dating a slow fade what is a slow fade within dating this is when you gradually reduce your communications with someone until you break up with them it’s a soft way of breaking up i think it’s ridiculous if you want to break up with someone you should have the respect for the other person to break up with them shred on it’s not working out let’s end this the slow fade is ridiculous it makes you feel better great and what about the other person do you not respect this person you’re dating slow fade is not the way to go about dating and you would not like someone else to do it to you so for me slow fade if you become aware of it then you know that the person you’re dating is slowly fading you out just end it and move on they don’t respect you they’re more worried about their ego and themselves just move on this is one um a sober first kiss what is a sober first kiss well this has really come come about since lockdown because everywhere was closed so you could go on a date and your first kiss would be sober now i guess this word is new because most first kisses will when you’re drunk if you want to kiss someone sober just think of it from an intimate point of view two people meet you gradually move closer to your kiss it’s called intimacy you don’t need to overthink it you just get closer with each other if you want to know more about that i run courses dating confidence courses teaching you everything about this you’ll find a link to my social attraction website below and you can also find the link to book a consultation call with me on that call i’m going to just change your life just on that one call i’m going to point you in the right direction and if you actually do a course together just check out my reviews online and you’ll see what i’m talking about we’re talking huge success very very fast so stashing what is stashing this is when you meet someone you’re dating them but you stash them so you don’t put them on social media you don’t introduce them to your friends you keep them to one side the reason why we stash is because we don’t want other dating opportunities to go down the drain so if you find yourself stashing someone you now have a word for it because you know exactly what you’re doing you are stashing this person to keep your dating options open okay again this is a lack of respect for the person you’re dating you probably shouldn’t be dating them because if you are dating someone and committed then you shouldn’t be afraid of introducing them to people so that’s what stashing is good word isn’t it like you’re stashing someone the sunday test what is the sunday test the sunday test is when you decide could i spend a sunday with this person doing nothing hanging about at home if the answer is yes you should date them if the answer is no then you definitely shouldn’t date them it’s called the sunday test it’s quite a nice way of thinking about it so the next one is a tata tot what on earth is a tatter tot this is someone who’s not good for you but you crave them so someone you know a bad boy or a bad girl someone who you know that if you get involved in them it’s not going to end well but you can’t help yourself because you’re sexually attracted to them there’s a term it’s called a tata tot so if you’re someone that likes tatter tots just be aware that you know what you’re about to do you shouldn’t i know i shouldn’t have text her i know i shouldn’t have been invited i know i shouldn’t have seen her but i couldn’t help myself that’s the tata top and that’s you know what you’re doing a text black hole what is a text black hole this is where you text someone that you’ve met online and then you never meet them in person this is the most ridiculous thing in my life when you’re online dating i’ve written a bestselling book about online dating it’s called an education in online dating it’s on amazon don’t send thousands of messages to someone you’ve never met okay there’s a process and a strategy in place where you can message someone a certain amount get them on the phone agree to meet them in person if you spend your life messaging someone why would you do that okay why would you do that you’re giving up your life to someone you’ve never met you need to transition from having a good profile good messages to seeing someone in person because we all know until you’ve met someone face to face you have got no idea how much you like each other so that text dialogue has got to be reduced massively um right the next one is a text relationship what a word this is so what is a text relationship this is when you text someone more often than you see them i’m not a huge fan of texting a lot i think it wastes a lot of time and a text relationship okay for certain small periods of time but you really want to date someone that you’re just texting all the time rather than dating them anyway there’s a word it’s called a text relationship if you’re in one at least you’re aware of it now and you can think do i want to do this moving forward or shall i end it and find someone who’s a bit more local to me so uber radius we’ve got three more uber radius what is uber radius this is when you define how desirable someone is by how close they live to you so if someone lives 10 miles away you might think no but uber radius if they’re like half a mile or one mile away they become more dateable this is hilarious so if you’re mushed in girls on it on them on tinder it tells you how many miles away they are you can have fun with this and message them saying you know your uber radius is not bad you’re less than one mile away perhaps we should meet or you can be fun and say you will be a radius is 10 10 miles away it’s a bit too far i mean i quite like that one i think it’s quite fun uh final two vulturing what is vulturing well this is where you sense that someone you know or a girl you like their relationships coming to an end so you start to vulture around them so that when they break up you can be there to jump jump on it or jump on them i’m not going to get into human nature this is what happens it happens in business it happens as soon as there’s weakness as soon as that rock begins to fail a bit or that line begins to break vultures are going to go round it’s called vulturing if you’re doing it you’re aware of it i’m not going to judge people on that because it’s part of human nature it’s what everyone does not necessarily in dating but certainly in other areas i mean think about if you want to buy something new you could sort of think about it until it goes into a sale then it gets really cheap then you buy it it’s kind of the same thing it’s just called vulturing and dating and the final one which is hilarious is called zumping what is zomping this is when you get dumped via zoom so it’s called zomping so yeah nice end to it so yeah what we’ve done in this video i’ve just gone through like all of the um modern dating terms that you really should know about they’re fun i like knowing about them i think understanding what they are will help you to know how someone’s messaging and interacting with you if you’ve enjoyed this video give me a thumbs up if you’ve got questions about dating that you’d like to know more about put them in the comment section below and i will be more than happy to answer them in my future streams and don’t forget