The internet was left stunned after a man bashed his girlfriend’s “work ethic” while she struggled with her mental health.
Published on Reddit‘s r/AmITheA**hole forum, a man under the anonymous username u/Lazy_Education_7228 shared his story for the “AITA” community to share their judgments.
The original poster began his story by explaining that he and his girlfriend have been together for four years. When he met her, he wrote that she worked long hours and earned more than he did—one of the reasons he liked her. He described her as “very driven and motivated” and that she inspired him.
Unfortunately, due to family issues, she’s had issues with her mental health. He discussed that she does manual work, and cut her work hours by more than half. What’s more, a stress-induced injury can flare up when she’s stressed out.
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“She came through that bad time, but she’s completely lost her drive and is focussing more on ‘better mental health’ whilst only working part-time,” he said, “I’ve never know anyone do this, none of my friends are doing it and she’s completely lost her work ethic. It makes me worry if she were to be the mother to my children as she’s completely lost all drive because of her problems. I’m worried she will do this if we were to have children together, and in life things do happen and you have to keep soldiering on.”
When the OP confronted her about it, she argued that she pays for “half” of everything and her decision does not financially affect him. She said she said he should be encouraging her to “do what makes her happy.” Even after their argument, he still feels “resentful and disappointed” that she has lost her drive and work ethic.
Newsweek reached out to the OP for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.
What can a significant other do to help their partner get through tough times?
Martha Teater, licensed marriage and family therapist suggested to Newsweek that a significant other encourage their partner to get treatment for their mental health issues to show care and support.
Kristen Souza, a licensed mental health counselor told Newsweek, “If you’re in a relationship with someone dealing with anxiety, it’s important for you to learn about the disorder. Talk to your partner and try to understand their triggers so you can offer support! The last thing someone with anxiety needs to hear is ‘just relax’ or ‘it’s not a big deal.'”
Sandra Calzadilla, a licensed mental health counselor, agreed, telling Newsweek, “It is very healing when a partner can accept that their significant other is having a tough time and isn’t telling them how they should be feeling while also helping to identify false-belief that may be contributing to their anxiety.”
Redditor reactions
“[You’re the a**hole]. She’s trying to take care of herself and you’re being selfish,” u/thatwavyhairedchica said, receiving the top comment with over 17,000 upvotes.
U/Sweetsenkai questioned, “[You’re the a**hole]. Read again what you just wrote. She was drained, in a bad mental state and she even has [physical] pain from what she does. After a lot of time giving herself to work she decided to focus on her own happiness, and this did not even took a toll on your finances, and you’re complaining? You’d rather have her working more but miserable, than trying to be happier and healthier?”
“[You’re the a**hole] and don’t worry..you will most likely be single soon and you won’t have to worry about her…The fact you’re still ok financially and it has no effect on you..makes your callousness toward your [girlfriend] even worse,” u/Still_Storm7432 wrote.
“You are the biggest a**hole I’ve had the displeasure [of] rating [a**hole] in a while. You don’t deserve your [girlfriend] and I hope she realises this before she makes any life long commitments to you,” u/Ophelialoves exclaimed.
Have you noticed any red flags that made you end a relationship? Let us know via [email protected]. We can ask experts for advice, and your story could be featured on Newsweek.
