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Jimmie Allen revealed that he had contemplated suicide when he was going through his sexual assault lawsuit in a new interview with Kathie Lee Gifford, posted on his YouTube channel on Tuesday, April 23. In the discussion, the country singer, 38, addressed the sexual assault lawsuit from his former day-to-day manager, which has since been dropped.

Shortly after the filing, the country singer had released a statement, denying the allegations, saying that the relationship had been consensual. Jimmie claimed that he didn’t want a relationship with his then-manager, and he’d regretted beginning the relationship, especially as he was still married to his then-wife at the time. “For the longest time, in my head, I remember thinking, ‘As long as I’m providing for my wife and my children, I have the freedom to do whatever I want.’ That’s not the right mentality. It’s wrong. I made a commitment. I should’ve either stuck with it or ended it,” he said in the interview, via Entertainment Tonight

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As the allegations came out, Jimmie said that he was concerned about how they would affect his way to provide for his family. “I was sitting there and I literally felt like the whole world had just collapsed. ‘Cause the first thing my brain goes to is not the career, it’s ‘How am I going to provide for my kids?’” he said. “It hit me. My life insurance covers suicide.”

The “Freedom Was a Highway” singer said that as he was in the darkest moment, a friend reached out to him, and it completely changed his perspective. “My friend Chuck texted me… He said, ‘Ending it isn’t the answer.’ When I read those words that… I just stopped,” he said. Jimmie explained that he got in touch with a friend who came to his home and took his gun. He said that the support of his loved ones and a few other people in the industry helped him out. “My mom flew in, and then I started receiving phone calls from different artists checking in on me, saying they love me, they care about me, they know who I am. Then I started receiving calls from people I didn’t even expect. Some of the biggest actors in Hollywood that I’ve been fans of for years — I’ve never met — somehow got my phone number and called me,” he said.

While suicidal thoughts continued for some time, Jimmie admitted that with the help of therapy and mental health treatment, he’s turned things around, and he said that taking a step back “saved my life” in the long run. “I started to look at the situation different. It went from, ‘God, why is this happening to me?’ to ‘God, what am I supposed to learn?’” he said. “I went from hating her to a little bit kind of feeling bad for her, trying to understand what was going on in her life that she needed to do this.”

If you or someone you know is in emotional distress or considering suicide, call the National Suicide Prevention Lifeline at 1-800-273-TALK (8255).

James Crowley

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