TAMPA BAY, Florida – (Sports Satire) – After months of speculation, Sports Bet Gazette senior writer Zorro La Bamba has it first hand that the Brady’s have split.
Gisele Bundchen has left their $29.7 million mansion, which has been renamed La Casa Pigskin Mansion, by Tom.
La Bamba, who knows both Tom and Gisele better than any other sports writer stated that “Gissy” insisted that Tommy retire immediately.
Tom told her that he would retire whenever the fuck he felt like retiring.
Bundchen then reportedly gave him an ultimatum by telling “Tom Terrific” that it was either football or her vagina; and that it would not be both.
The Tampa Bay Buccaneers quarterback then remarked, “Damn, I gonna miss those ‘sugar lips, adios, and don’t let the damn door hit you on your sexy, svelte, ass.”
