Written by dating coach for men Gary Gunn – Founder of Social Attraction

This article will teach you how to re-attract her after she has lost interest. I will also cover why this woman has lost interest in you in the first place, as this is crucial to regaining her attention back.

Included here:

  • Understanding why she has lost attraction (the truth)
  • How to overcome the feeling of rejection (fast)
  • Ways to take back control of your life (and win)

Above all, this article will show you what steps you can take to re-attract a woman back into your life. Moreover, in following these steps, you will also find that you become a more successful and attractive individual who has his life in order.

If you would like to learn how to attract women in the real world, why not try one of our confidence courses? You can view testimonials from our clients on YouTube here: Attracting women courses for men:

What causes a girl to lose interest?

There is essentially one reason why a girl loses interest in a relationship. She has lost interest because you have changed your behaviour from when you first met her (when she found you attractive) to how you are acting around her now. That is why she has lost interest.

I have been coaching for 12 years in the dating industry: coaching single men to enter relationships, following a divorce or who find themselves newly single. I have been coaching long enough to see what happens as men proceed down the years.

Interestingly, I am also in a position where clients I coached several years ago have come back to me for more coaching. They seek my help because their relationships have ended or because they have messed things up and want to re-attract a woman back into their lives.

Prioritising her too highly

Here is what typically happens when guys first meet a girl they like. They will start dating her. They will spend too many times per day with her, perhaps up to five days a week. A consequence of this means they do not train as much at the gym. Nor do they spend as much time with their friends.

All of the things that they used to do that were attractive to a woman, such as being in physically good condition, having their own interests and spending time with other people, they stop doing in the relationship’s infancy.

Operating this way, however, sets and creates habits from the outset that are not conducive to a healthy long-term relationship as it is unrealistic to spend that much time with a woman long-term. Still, we free up our time because we are getting self-validation and sex at the beginning of a relationship. Our mindset is we like this woman. She is the best thing that has ever happened to us.

Healthy boundaries

Yet, giving her all of our time is detrimental to all the other elements in our lives. And additionally, that lust or that early phase of a relationship does not last. It cannot survive because that energy will naturally subside over time. Therefore it is important to maintain friendship groups and interests as these elements form part of the fabric of your character.

To learn more about creating healthy boundaries in your dating life, I recommend reading my healthy boundaries with women article. Reading this will also educate you on why having personal boundaries conveys attractive qualities to the women you meet. You can find a snapshot of some of the points in the infographic below:

3 ways to embed healthy boundaries in your dating life

What to do if a girl is losing interest?

If a girl is losing interest in you, there are a few things within your immediate control that will help re-attract her.

Let’s consider the following scenario to bring this to life. You have been in a relationship; either you have been dating a girl or are married. Whatever it is, she is losing interest. Maybe she is more aloof with you. Perhaps she has broken up with you, or you feel like she is about to.

How to re-attract her

One immediate thing you can do to reignite her interest is to join a gym and lift weights. As soon as you start lifting heavy, you will be releasing more testosterone. You are going to become physically stronger and, more importantly, feel mentally stronger.

You will be less affected by your emotions and that feeling of rejection that she is pulling away from you. Furthermore, you will be viably more attractive to other women. This attraction works the same with the woman that you are dating. Therefore, if you get physically bigger or want to re-attract her back into your life, joining a gym and taking more interest in yourself will help you.

Being in physically better shape is also linked to hypergamy. Hypergamy is the practice of women aspiring to date up, either in genetics or socioeconomic status. And so, by getting physically bigger and stronger, you will become more attractive to the majority of women. To understand more about the biology of sexual attraction, take a look at my infographic below. You can also read my how to make a woman want you sexually article to learn about these principles.

Three ways that make you more sexually attractive to women

How do I get her attention back?

Another vital element to getting a woman’s attention back is by getting your own life in order. Take a moment to consider the following questions:

  • Have you got clear progression in your life?
  • Are you working on your goals?
  • Is there growth in every area?
  • Reading more?
  • Training more?
  • Doing more on a day-to-day basis?
  • Are you living a good lifestyle?

Taking stock of these factors will influence you to become such an attractive guy that you will be less concerned with re-attracting a woman because you will find that a more significant number of women are now interested in you.

Look inwards

You may have fallen into the scarcity mindset about wanting to get this one girl back at all costs. Having this mindset makes you fall into needy and try-hard behaviour. These behaviours include texting too much, being too available and too agreeable, and neglecting the other people and interests in your life.

Yet, if you calmed down and focused on yourself, you would find that your life development becomes more critical and your relationship less critical. Indeed, taking a more comprehensive view of your life makes you even more attractive, not only to your ex or partner but to every woman you meet. Expanding your thinking in this way is how you create extraordinary results: You stop trying, stop caring about this aspect and instead look inwards to better yourself and the quality of your life.

Underneath I have included a helpful infographic that further outlines this mentality. If you want to learn more about this longer-term dating strategy and personal growth, then read my how to attract women article.

Five ways to attract women in to long-term girlfriends

How do you get a girl back that has lost interest in you?

Another action that will make a notable difference in re-attracting a girl who has lost interest in you is following the NoFap approach. NoFap essentially means you abstain from sex and masturbation for a period of time to channel your energy and improve your life.

Adopting this approach keeps all of your testosterone in your system; therefore, you will be able to train harder and focus more. You will have far more energy and, as a result, be more appealing to the girl you are trying to re-attract. Why not decide to do NoFap for 30 days and see the results for yourself?


If I had to give one characteristic that distinguishes an attractive man from an unattractive man, it is this: The attractive guy does not need sex as much as the unattractive guy. The unattractive guy will be more try-hard in his approach to attracting and keeping a woman’s interest because he wants sex.

In contrast, if you follow no fap and learn to channel your sexual urges, you will be less try-hard and less reactive to women in general. NoFapping has the result of drawing women into your world. Moreover, your relationship will be more balanced, which is an alluring quality. Click the following link to watch my video on NoFapping if you want to learn more about it.

Personal growth

In conclusion, to become more attractive to every woman, not just your ex-girlfriend, here are the fundamentals:

  • You want to get in the gym and lift heavy
  • Aspire to look at your life design
  • Consider doing NoFap

Incorporating NoFap and weight training into your life is phenomenal for becoming an attractive guy with absolute confidence.

And in examining your life design, think about what you are doing on a day-to-day basis. Is there a career progression? Are you developing your life in some way? Importantly, here you have the potential to build on a latent part of your life – something you have always wanted to do that you have not done before or perhaps have been too afraid to try.

Now you may be questioning why I am lecturing on these points when all you want is to talk to your ex-girlfriend? You may even be thinking to yourself: I just need to speak to her and clear the air. I need to sort it out. Well, no, you don’t. Forcing this type of conversation is the worst thing that you can do.

Next steps

Instead, take immediate control of your life. Focus on yourself and get your life in order. Work on being successful and feeling successful. And what will happen is you will start to draw this woman back into your life. She will get back in contact with you because, essentially, she wants to be with someone who is going somewhere and who has direction.

If you want better dating results but haven’t booked a consultation call with me, I understand your hesitation. It can be easy to watch a youtube channel or read an article, yet it is more challenging to take personal action. Still, why not take that risk? Social Attraction coaching can help you find and create a healthy long-term relationship. To learn more about our coaching, visit our confidence courses page and see what immediate and positive changes you can bring to your dating life.

As a final point here, if you would like further advice on how to reattract an ex-girlfriend then see my infographic below where I give five practical ways to help you. You can also read my corresponding how to get your ex-girlfriend back article, where I delve into each of these five points in greater detail.

5 invaluable ways to develop yourself and get back together with your ex-girlfriend


  • Take immediate control of your life.
  • Weight train to generate more testosterone.
  • Embrace a NoFapping lifestyle.

Your path to dating success

Gary Gunn

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