From boyhood to manhood to fatherhood

Fatherhood dates back to the beginning of time. It all may have even started at the conception of the first child of Adam and Eve. For many men, being a father is the very natural duty of manhood. Some men find it easy to partake in this natural part of being a human.

Like myself, there are many who grew up without their natural fathers. For some, that could have been a traumatic experience. It is normal for everyone to want to know exactly who their birth parents are.

There are several reasons why a man is absent from his child’s life. It could be from just simply not getting along with his child’s mother. It could stem from a father not having an appropriate nurturing father themselves, therefore causing a generational transformation to have occurred.

Throughout my lifetime, I had attended many “Fathers go get your sons and daughters” rallies. These events are familiar during the third weekend in June.

In the Black community, fatherhood continues to require more aggressive support from our men. There should be no negative stigma placed on a man because he rightfully participates positively in his child’s life.

Isn’t that the way the Supreme Being intended it to be from the beginning?

For 10 years, I taught middle school students. Middle schoolers are a tough group to break through to. But I was sincere in making every effort. Yearly, as we approach both Mother’s and Father’s Day, I stressed to my students the importance of good family planning. During this lecture, it is the one time my students would listen to me attentively. As a result of that parenting lesson, many times I will run into my former students who then introduce me to their offspring.

Over the years, I’ve listened to several professional men speak candidly about growing up not having a father. It was a conversation of adversity. But one that I could relate to regarding my own situation as well.

Many times as a youngster, I believed my father’s noninvolvement bothered my mother as well. As a little kid I would ask myself, “Why does my father not show interest in me?”

My salvation would come from knowing and exploring his very own childhood past and upbringing. My father had very little involvement with father. He was raised by his father’s sister.

Growing up fatherless was generational. My father had little to no interaction with his father. That same physical and social issue behavior then transferred itself to me. I believe those personal scares of abstinence keep me from having my own children.

For one, I never wanted to take the risk of abandonment. I personally believe that would be a permanent mental scar on my offspring and have my own father’s behavior transferred into my own kids. I do acknowledge that growing up without a father I’d recognized the difference between the have the haves and have nots.

Mandatory child support has improved since the time I was a kid in the early 1960s. And, because of that, nowadays more and more fathers are active participants in their children’s lives, now more than ever before. That is a good thing for the love of mankind.

That man who raised me happened to have been my mother’s long-term boyfriend. He has been present in my life since my birth.

Recently, I worked as a guest teacher in a fourth-grade classroom at a local elementary school. A young male student asked, “Excuse me, what’s your name?” I stated my name to the young fellow. He replied, “Today, I’m meeting my father.” His statement reminded me so much of myself at his age.

My best friend from my college days always expressed his interest in the importance of wanting to be a father. He had shocked me when he made that comment. Fatherhood was by no way in my foreseeable future.

From the very time he observed his future son, the process of being a single dad was certainly unwieldy.

Living in our digital world, standards have changed concerning how one views quality of life. Nowadays, social media can capture a snapshot and/or a video. Much attention is more candidly observed than ever before. For the past three years, through social media, I had given much notice to Michal Foy. For several years on Father’s Day, Foy and a group of his peers join in fellowship for breakfast.

“I know I’m not the father you ever wanted, but I will always stand by you,” said Poseidon, God of the Sea, to his son in a popular children’s mythology movie.

Williams is a lifelong resident of Camden, N.J.