For decades, public health officials tried to get parents to put babies to sleep on their backs instead of their stomachs.
The message was everywhere. Pamphlets, posters, pediatrician reminders. Most people heard it and did nothing. Not because they were bad parents or didn’t care — just because the information didn’t stick.
Then researchers studying the data noticed something odd. The parents who actually changed their behavior had one thing in common: they had just become parents.
Not that they heard a better version of the message. Not that they were more motivated. They were simply in a different state than they were before. One that made the information actually land.
That single shift — catching people in a state change — reduced SIDS deaths by close to 90%. The same message, delivered at the right moment, worked where it had failed for decades before.
This finding comes from Katie Milkman’s research in “How to Change,” and it reframes something most people get wrong about habit formation and fresh starts.
The Date Problem
Every January, millions of people pick a start date for a new habit. January 1 is the most popular. Monday is a distant second. The first of the month. A birthday. An anniversary.
The assumption is that the calendar creates the motivation. But Milkman’s research suggests it works the other way around: the motivation has to be real first, and then a date can anchor it.
The new parents didn’t change their behavior because they picked a specific week. They changed because something fundamental about their life — and their psychology — had shifted. The information about infant sleep safety suddenly had a recipient who was ready for it.
Most January 1 fresh starts fail not because the goals are wrong, but because the state change isn’t real. The date flips. The inside doesn’t.
What a Real State Change Looks Like
I’ve been coaching Patrick for several months. Calendar management was a recurring theme. He knew it was a problem. We talked about it regularly. He’d make small improvements, then slide back.
Then one day he missed an important meeting. He was driving, thought he had nothing scheduled. He called me afterward. “Holy smokes moment,” he said. “I wasted someone’s valuable time. I didn’t even know it happened.”
He rebuilt his entire calendar system that week.
Nothing I said in that conversation was new. The tools were the same. The advice hadn’t changed. But he had. The embarrassment — the felt cost of what his disorganization had caused — created a real state change. Before, he understood the problem intellectually. After, he’d experienced it.
That’s the difference between information and impact. The information was always there. What changed was his receptivity to it.
The Practical Implication
This doesn’t mean you have to wait for a crisis to change. But it does mean you have to be honest about whether you’re actually in a different state or just marking a different date.
A few things that create genuine state changes:
Life transitions. New job, new city, a baby, a loss. These shift your environment and your psychology at the same time, which is why habits formed during transitions tend to stick better than habits formed mid-routine.
Real consequences. Patrick’s missed meeting was a state change because it cost something real — a professional relationship, his self-image, his sense of competence. When you actually feel the cost of a pattern, you’re not the same person you were before.
Environmental shifts. Smaller, but still real. Cleaning out your desk, rearranging your workspace, even changing the coffee shop where you do your work. Environment changes state. State changes behavior.
Meaningful dates. This one is underrated. January 1 doesn’t carry genuine meaning for most people beyond convention. But Lunar New Year does for many cultures — it comes with rituals, family expectation, physical cleanup, a whole structure around genuine renewal. The date isn’t magic; the meaning attached to it is.
What to Watch For
The question worth asking before starting anything new isn’t “when should I start?” It’s “am I actually in a different state than I was before?”
If you’re starting from the same place, with the same stress, same environment, same daily patterns — you’re probably not in a different state. The date change is cosmetic.
But if something has shifted — a wake-up call, a transition, a real change in your circumstances or your awareness — that’s worth acting on immediately, not waiting for the next convenient Monday.
Milkman’s research suggests that the window after a state change is when people are most receptive to new information and new patterns. Most people let that window close by waiting for “a better time.”
The better time is usually now, right after the state changes.
One thing to try: Before starting your next habit or goal, ask yourself what specifically has changed. Not just the date — the state. If you can’t name it, the conditions might not be there yet. If you can, start immediately. The window is open.
Thanh Pham
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