Thursday, 15 September 2022
BILLINGSGATE POST: Mike Lindell, the My Pillow guy, reports that a fully armed FBI special unit snatched his smart phone yesterday. Armed to the teeth in full camouflage combat gear, with night vision goggles and grenade launchers, the FBI moved in on Lindell while he was ordering a Monster Angus Burger and French fries at a Hardee’s restaurant in Mankato, Minn.
Lindell said he and a friend were on their way home from duck hunting in Iowa and stopped at the fast-food restaurant when three cars with four FBI agents surrounded his vehicle.
“The FBI corralled me in Mankato, Minnesota, and took my cell phone,” Lindell told the reporter in a rambling interview in which he repeatedly attacked liberal media outlets, fulminated about Dominion Voting Systems and said the company is trying to destroy his pillow company.
Lindell said that one of the agents apologized to him: “My wife was thrilled when I told her I was part of this operation. She just loves you, but wants to know why you stopped using cotton grown in the Giza area in Egypt and switched to percale for your sheets?”
“Where are your f*cking Tomahawk missiles, Dude?” he asked the lead agent. “I heard that when you raided Roger Stone in the middle of the night, you had a submarine off the coast of Florida with missiles up and armed with tactical nuclear warheads if he tried to made a run for it.”
“I don’t get no respect.”
Roger Stone, who has a tattoo of Richard Nixon on his back, in describing the incident:
“When they came after me while I was in bed early that morning, they had 26 fully armed agents, 6 M3 Bradley tanks and 12 AFV’s on the street, all ready to fire if I made a move. I guess the only thing that saved me from total annihilation was my two Yorkshire terriers that I had in my arms. They must have thought I might unleash the little guys on them.”
Dr. Slim: “A loaf of bread, a jug of wine, and thou.”
Dirty: “Yo, Doctor Dude. Name three things that have yeast.”
