Hey, quick question for the group: When you think of people who have had a hugely positive impact on humanity, what names come to mind? Nelson Mandela? Marie Curie? Abraham Lincoln? Martin Luther King Jr.? Gandhi? Well, Elon Musk thinks he should be included in that group, and it’s not because he’s actually made good on his promise to donate $6 billion to end world hunger, or bought a modest house for every (actually) homeless person in America, or, I don’t know, paid off the medical bills of every child battling cancer.

No, Elon Musk believes his crowning contribution to society will be…buying Twitter.

In an open letter to the company’s advertisers posted on Thursday, Musk wrote that “there has been much speculation about why I bought Twitter” and that “most of it has been wrong.” The real reason he will soon be the bird app’s owner, unless he comes up with yet another eleventh hour reason not to go through with it? “It is important to the future of civilization to have a common digital town square,” and he wants to “help humanity, whom I love.”

Elsewhere in the communiqué, the world’s richest man said that while he would like Twitter to be a place “where a wide range of beliefs can be debated,” it “obviously cannot become a free-for-all hellscape, where anything can be said with no consequences,” adding that “in addition to adhering to the laws of the land, our platform must be warm and welcoming to all.” As a reminder, Musk has said that he would reverse the ban on insurrection-inciting Donald Trump, and just less than three weeks ago, he heartily welcomed back Kanye West, who then proceeded to announce his plans to go “death con 3 On JEWISH PEOPLE.” (After West’s antisemitic tirade, Musk tweeted: “Talked to ye today & expressed my concerns about his recent tweet, which I think he took to heart.” Spoiler alert: He didn’t.)

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Earlier this week, Musk posted a video of himself walking into Twitter carrying a sink for some reason.

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Reports have circulated that he plans to lay off 75% of the company’s workforce once the deal officially goes through. (He has denied this.)

We’re sure Zelenskyy and Putin are booking their JetBlue tickets to Phoenix as we speak

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Bess Levin

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