Dad defended for refusing to pay for daughter’s fourth wedding: “A waste”

Members of a popular internet forum rallied behind one father who refuses to fund his daughter’s fourth wedding.

In a viral Reddit post published on r/AmITheA******, Redditor u/ComprehensiveNet1149 (otherwise referred to as the original poster, or OP) said he paid for the 32-year-old’s first three nuptials—and made it clear he has no plans to do it again.

Titled, “[Am I the a******] for telling my daughter I will [not] help her out with her next wedding?” the post has received nearly 8,000 upvotes and 2,000 comments in the last 12 hours.

Beginning with the revelation that his daughter has been “divorced thrice already,” the original poster detailed his contributions to each wedding, and lamented over the varying durations of each marriage.

“She got married at 25 to the love of her life. I gave her $15,000 as help for the wedding,” OP wrote. “She married the love of her life when she was 30. I gave her $5,000.

“She married the guy that got her pregnant while she was married to [number] two,” OP continued. “They divorced before my grandson was one.”

Continuing to explain that his daughter has once again met “the love of her life,” the original poster said he was asked to contribute money toward another wedding ceremony, much to his dismay.

“I said I would [not] help her with the next one,” OP wrote. “Now she is crying to her mother calling me an a****** for not believing in her future.

“I have managed to stay married for 33 years. It’s not that difficult,” OP added. “My wife wants me to make peace by giving her some money. But I think it’s a waste.”

Weddings, big or small, are an opportunity to celebrate love and unity between two partners and two families.

Weddings are also expensive—so much so that 90 percent of couples cast aside other financial priorities in order to afford the perfect celebration, according to the 2021 Weddings & Money Study conducted in partnership by Brides and Investopedia.

While mean wedding budgets in the U.S. hovered around $20,000 in 2021, marrying couples contributed an average of $7,250 in cash savings, before turning to investments, credit cards and family members for extra assistance.

“Ultimately, weddings are paid for in a variety of different ways, and there’s no ‘one way’ in which the bill gets divided,” Brides Editorial Director Gabriella Rello Duffy told Newsweek.

“For some, it’s that one or both families split the bill; for others, it’s that the couple themselves pay,” Duffy added. “It’s most common now that couples receive some level of contribution from one or both families and then pay for the rest of the wedding themselves.”

Despite the widespread expectation for familial assistance, however, there are often limits to what family members can provide.

And throughout the comment section of the viral Reddit post, many Redditors assured the original poster that he’d already provided more than enough to not feel obligated to fund his daughter’s fourth wedding.

“Was your comment callous? A bit, but that doesn’t make it untrue,” Redditor u/grid101 wrote in the post’s top comment, which has received more than 14,000 upvotes.

“$20K over three weddings is fine,” they added. “She can pay her own way now.”

Redditor u/g3l33m, whose comment has received nearly 3,000 upvotes, echoed that sentiment.

“Sounds like your daughter thinks you’re an ATM,” they noted. “Tell her to elope next time…and the time after that.”

“She’s better off having a courthouse wedding…and throwing HERSELF a big renewal ceremony if she makes it to 10 [years],” Redditor u/pepperann007 added. “She’s clearly just in love with the idea of love.”

“You’ve already paid for two weddings and she’s now a grown up with kids of her own,” Redditor u/vercingetafix chimed in, receiving nearly 2,000 upvotes. “If she wants to get married again, she can foot the bill this time.”

Newsweek has reached out to u/ComprehensiveNet1149 for comment. We could not verify the details of the case.