Concern about an only child’s development growing up without a sibling remains an undercurrent for some. But as evidence mounts that siblings are not essential, more people are realizing that a child does not need a sibling to learn how to share, to be respectful of others, and to be caring, compassionate, and responsible. The new science highlights how only children thrive.
No Sibling—An Imagined Deficit
“You got me the brother I always wanted,” screeched Neha’s 6-year-old only child, when her mother* put a puppy in her daughter’s outstretched arms.
For most children, requesting a human sibling is a stage. Some kids can be fierce and relentless for a while; others never ask. That leaves it to parents to decide not only if they want to have multiple children but also how to break it to their only child if they don’t want to when the subject comes up.
As far-fetched as it may seem, for many only child parents, a pet is part of the solution. “It may sound sort of nuts, but I really think having a pet fills the perceived sibling void,” one mother* told me.
It’s actually not crazy at all when you think of how much we value our pets. According to a Pew Research Center survey, “About half of U.S. pet owners say their pets are as much a part of their family as a human member.” Among owners with one pet, 69 percent have dogs, and 23 percent have cats. That would account for much of the research being focused on dogs.
Developmental Pluses of Pets
Study after study supports the benefits of pet ownership for children. An investigation published in Pediatric Research found that for preschoolers, a third of whom were only children, “having a dog and interacting with it through play and family dog walking may be important mechanisms for facilitating young children’s social-emotional development.” (Wenden)
Other researchers reported that “parents used a greater proportion of emotion and mental state language with their children when playing with their pet dog than with a lifelike toy.” The researchers suggest “the presence of a household pet may be one context used to promote conversations about emotions and mental states.” They concluded that childhood pet ownership promotes empathy and prosocial behavior resulting from parent-child conversations. (Reider)
Similarly, another study observed parent-child interactions, how feelings and affection were expressed, as well as self-image, contact with peers, and cooperation among 3- and 5-year-olds, half with dogs at home, half with no pets. The research team found that “contact with dogs at home during early childhood is related to more advanced social development in both boys and girls.” (Dueñas)
When Australian researchers looked specifically at only children with pets and only children without pets, their findings were consistent with other pet-related studies. Reporting in The Journal of Pediatrics, they note a significant difference between the two groups. Only children who had pets displayed stronger social behaviors such as kindness, empathy, and sharing than only children who did not have a pet. (Christian)
These findings are consistent with what my husband and I and many other parents of singletons observed. We witnessed my son’s dog not only filling his empty time, but also providing a living being to worry about, take care of, and be kind and gentle toward. The pet gave him someone to snuggle with and, conversely, to boss around as siblings do. His dog taught him a lot about being responsible.
Reality Check
That’s not to say that parents aren’t also responsible for a pet’s care. More often than you bargained for, the reality is you may end up taking the dog for walks, cleaning the kitty litter or the pet’s cage, or feeding that new “human” in your household. But the pet you choose clearly has the potential to be more than worth your sacrifice in terms of your only child’s development. The research strongly indicates that a pet could be the perfect addition to your family.
Although many of the studies on this topic focus on dogs, the chosen pet could be a cat, a gerbil, or another animal. Don’t be surprised if you hear your child, like Neha’s daughter, calling his pet “my brother” or “my sister.”
*The mothers’ statements were made during the interview investigation for my book Just One: The New Science, Secrets & Joy of Parenting an Only Child.
Copyright @2026 by Susan Newman, PhD
Susan Newman Ph.D.
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