Buckle Up For the 2023 NFL Draft, Where Will Levis, The Houston Texans and a Bunch of Hypothetical Trades Could Create Chaos

Buckle Up For the 2023 NFL Draft, Where Will Levis, The Houston Texans and a Bunch of Hypothetical Trades Could Create Chaos

How do you see the top five picks shaking out?

I think this year has been a little tricky to peg down because there’s a wide range of opinions on quarterbacks, but we at least know who the top pick is going to be with the Panthers locking in on Bryce Young.

Here’s my stab at the top five:

  1. Panthers – Bryce Young
  2. Texans – Will Anderson
  3. Cardinals (or maybe someone else, potentially even the Steelers!) – Paris Johnson
  4. Colts – Will Levis
  5. Seahawks – Jalen Carter

The biggest thing here I would say: if the Cardinals do trade from number three overall, don’t assume that the team making the trade wants a quarterback. There’s a lot of buzz about Paris Johnson going much higher than people think and the Steelers really want to give Kenny Pickett (and Najee Harris to a lesser degree) a stalwart offensive lineman. 

What, to you, is the funniest possible thing that could happen in the first round?

The funniest thing that can happen in the first round is tough, but the Colds hold a very, very high pick with an owner who just hired Jeff Saturday off TV to coach his team. The smoke around Levis suggests the Colts really want him, but Tennessee quarterback Hendon Hooker would be pretty funny here. He would be the oldest first-round quarterback since Brandon Weeden (!) and has a major adjustment as far as making the leap to an NFL scheme goes. 

I’m not sure we’re going to get a Laremy Tunsil gas mask bong video that ends up affecting like five future drafts, but a big reach by the most cracked out owner in the NFL would make everyone laugh. 

Who’s a player that will go outside the first round that people are sleeping on?

A player outside the first round that I would stand on the table for? That’s a bit difficult because there aren’t many first-round grades this year, so the evaluations are going to be a bit fluid, but Florida guard O’Cyrus Torrence is someone I would sprint to draft if he’s there in round two. Big, nasty, physical motherfucker that only lives to move 320-pound defensive tackles from point A to point B. I really think he’s going to start for a decade.

Also, I gotta give some love to my back-to-back (soon to be back-to-back-to-back) national champion Georgia Bulldogs. Safety Chris Smith, edge rusher Robert Beal, and offensive lineman Warren McClendon are some of my favorite sleepers in the draft. You can’t go wrong drafting a Dawg. 

Cool factoid to pass off as your own

The fastest man in the draft won’t go in the first round, and he might not go in the second round either. DJ Turner II, a cornerback out of Michigan, ran a 4.26 forty at the combine. That’s faster than the time Tyreek Hill put up at his 2016 pro day and only decimal points behind the 4.24 that legendary speedster Chris Johnson ran during his pre-draft workout. 

Turner is perceived as a second or third rounder, with a lot of the big draft sites projecting him in the 50-60 range. As the old adage goes, you can’t teach speed, but the knock on Turner is that someone will have to teach him to cover a little bit better if he wants to make it in the league. 

Free hot take

Paris Johnson Jr. is going to be a star. There’s going to be a handful of offensive linemen taken at the top, and it’s certainly possible that Northwestern’s Peter Skoronski or Tennessee’s Darnell Wright go before Johnson. But watching tape of Johnson, who spent last season as Ohio State’s left tackle, is like watching a wild moose go on a rampage.

Johnson also has experience at guard, so teams with their tackle situation figured out can stash him there if need be. He played at a true NFL talent factory as well; a Buckeye has been taken in the top 15 every single year since 2016. 

Matthew Roberson

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