Thursday, 15 December 2022
Donald Trump Junior has finished construction on his father’s mansion in Brazil, near the Amazon jungle. There, daily shipments of coke, meth, some weird frog poison that makes you high, and any other drugs he can get through his family’s South American contacts are delivered.
Brazil has no extradition treaty with the USA. Perfect! And that’s where Donny Junior, maybe Eric, Ivanka if she wants to come – not Tiffany, though, fuck her, she just got married and her husband’s not invited – can all go instead of prison when Merrick Garland and the heat gets hotter.
And South America is just a short private plane ride from JFK Airport in New York! Donny and family can be there in hours!
Strangely, though the mansion and exclusive complex is surrounded by monkeys – which everybody knows, like to shit on everything – these monkeys refuse to. Why? Biologists and monkey specialists offer a theory:
Monkeys are smarter than Trumps, and they stay away from the stench of decay and death whenever possible. The little bastards think their shit is too good for a Trump house! On the menu every night at the new Brazilian Mar-A-Lago: monkey brain stew.
