It was Halloween weekend, so I’m not sure why any of us expected things to go as planned. From tricks like favorites going scoreless to treats like life-changing parlays, let’s fill our halloween buckets with the best and worst tears of the weekend.
Fantasy free-for-all
Alvin Kamara hadn’t scored a single touchdown all season. Leave it to my beloved Raiders to go full “Friday the 13th Part VI: Jason Lives” and give us unwatchable content while Kamara and the Saints righted his statistical wrongs of the season. ESPN had Kamara projected for 18.7 points, which he surpassed in the first half alone on the way to a fantasy-matchup-destroying 42.8. Alvin was running like the Flash and the Raiders were defending him like he was the Invisible Man. In the meantime, the Nightmare on My Street was watching the Raiders lose 24-0 and getting trash talked by my fantasy opponent crushing me with Kamara.
Verdict: Four buckets of tears filled … and I’m probably done with the heavy-handed Halloween references.
Sunday shenanigans
Speaking of running backs … Derrick Henry’s reign as king took a delightful turn for bettors yesterday while also becoming a full reign of terror for the Texans, their fans and the sportsbooks. Rookie Malik Willis got the start at quarterback for an injured and ill Ryan Tannehill, which was going to mean more of King Henry, and the running back reminded us all that his empire could be built solely on playing the Texans with 219 yards and two touchdowns — also known as just another game against Houston.
Where this one gets fun is because so many of us not only got the treat, but we also got to trick all of those fancy casinos in Vegas. Call it grown-up toilet papering, considering how many betting slips were cashed for us and trashed for them.
The over/under on Derrick Henry’s rushing yards opened at 96.5 and has grown to 104.5 (-145 over)
@CaesarsSports. The over on Henry’s yds has attracted more bets than any other “over” player prop. 98.6% of the bets and 98.9% of the money wagered is on the over.h/t @TheMaxMeyer
https://twitter.com/DavidPurdum/status/1586748323028942851?s=20&t=DM9vPKowMLl7BmtAv7xSMg—
David Payne Purdum
(@DavidPurdum) Oct 30, 2022
Caesars Sportsbook and MGM both got apples in their candy buckets Sunday with this bet, but more importantly for all of us, we’re feasting on KING-sized candy bars. OK, NOW I’m done with the Halloween weekend references.
Verdict: Five buckets of rich, rich, rich happy tears
Why watch a random scary movie before Halloween if you can just watch the end of any Falcons game? The Panthers heard the call and gave us our best couples costume over the weekend with both Beauty and the Beast in one play. The throw? As beautiful as Belle.
Has to be the best throw of the year and not even close! 🎯🎯🎯
https://twitter.com/PatrickMahomes/status/1586815439455272965?s=20&t=DM9vPKowMLl7BmtAv7xSMg—
Patrick Mahomes II
(@PatrickMahomes) Oct 30, 2022
The celebration? Let’s just say Lumiere and Cogsworth would be hiding in the tower. With 73% of the dollars at Caesars on the Panthers (+4) in this game, most of us cared only about the touchdown and making sure the Panthers covered. For the money-line crew, because DJ Moore took his helmet off while his feet were still in the white paint behind the end zone, the Panthers were given an unsportsmanlike conduct penalty, pushing the extra point attempt back 15 yards. The kick was missed, and the Falcons won in overtime. Panthers cover, Falcons backers are mad and Panthers money-line crew, well …
Verdict: Two buckets of tears. It’s the Falcons. We should always expect chaos.
Saturday scaries
Fourth-and-1 with 26 seconds to go and TCU (-7.5) with a 3-point lead in West Virginia territory. You know what’s coming. I know what’s coming. This is as predictable as the bad candy you know you’re getting from the neighbor no one likes. This is an attempt to get WVU to jump offsides to end the game — which is exactly what happened. It’s the rest of the play that had the unexpected M. Night Shyamalan twist.
OMG TCU (-7.5) WITH THE LAST MINUTE HEAVE FOR THE COVER
https://twitter.com/ActionNetworkHQ/status/1586442456555454466?s=20&t=iwatE_KTkJhser2kKu78EQ—
Action Network
(@ActionNetworkHQ) Oct 29, 2022
That’s right. The free-play heave not only covers the 7.5-point spread for TCU but also pushes the game over 69, leaving all of us completely stunned as we realize Bruce Willis was dead all along! Well, 72% of the tickets and 67% of the money at Caesars was on TCU, so the tears are mostly happy here.
Verdict: Five buckets for an all-time useless play
Parlay pressure
Billy. Billlllyyyyyyyyyyy. Somebody check on our guy and send him a basket of only the finest chocolates. Look, turning $10 into $2,400 is a heck of a trick, but cashing out on Henry against that Texans defense (see above graphic) now makes this the “I should have” $25,000 parlay Billy’s grandkids will tell their grandkids about.
Derrick Henry with two TD’s today…
But I come bearing bad news 🥲
(IG: billy_bottles_/@fdsportsbook)
https://twitter.com/br_betting/status/1586840350630387712?s=46&t=gWdgoX9OnBKice5b1hEE5A—
br_betting
(@br_betting) Oct 30, 2022
Billy gets all the buckets he needs and a cool Bucket of Tears sticker to make him feel better.
Got any bad beats of your own? Let me know on Twitter @jasonfitz.
