Tuesday, 28 February 2023
Gates owns land in California where he can put his feet up and enjoy his wealth … but, alas, without his wife.
Since Melinda left town dragging her pre-nup behind her, Bill has been a little lonely. And he can’t call up his buddy Jeffery no more ‘cuz Jeff suddenly got suicidal in prison, and Ghislaine can’t get to a reliable phone where she can order Bill a new wife.
One of the guys Bill hires to watch his flocks of cows (herds? bunches? a murder?) by night and swears he saw Bill Gates fucking one of his own cows.
“Now, now, I didn’t say that,” said Steven Even, a former rancher and porn star from Reno. “I said it looked like Bill. But what’s that? A white guy in ugly glasses with a bad haircut? Hell, son, that’s half of Silicon Valley! Coulda been anybody! You better say ‘NOT’ in your headline, you sumbitch! Now git off Bill’s land!”
This reporter flew the coop (hut? shack? teepee?) and took his recordings and photos with him, which may someday be revealed so the people can make up their own minds as to whether or not that was Bill straddling the back end of a heifer or a bull – can’t see from the shot – but the pasty-arsed fucker had a smile on his face … and the cow chewed its cud, bored.
