Timothy Claypole, a sixty-year-old has spent every night this month in a nightclub and is beginning to find it embarrassing.

‘I saw that dapper chap Michael Gove dancing in a nightclub recently’ said Timothy, ‘and I remember thinking how much fun it looked, but now I am just embarrassed by it all. I have a headache, and my knees are giving me no end of gyp’.

Tracy Brassingthwaite, who is usually found serving behind bars in sleepy local villages takes up the tawdry tale. ‘I saw Timothy there dancing by himself, and all these people just a third of his age were laughing at him.’

‘Like most things in my life’ bemoaned Timothy ‘I have taken on new hobbies to late in my life to be able to get away with them. Looks like it is back home to my luxury Spirograph set’.

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