CHEESE OMELETTE, Wisconsin – (Satire News) – The iNews News Agency has just broken the story that the Cheese Capital of The World, is running out of cheese.
A spokesperson for The Wisconsin Cheese Coalition (WCC) has finally admitted that the state known as “The Beer State,” “The Packers State,” and “The Cheesey State” is having a “cheese-tastrophy”.
Wisconsin’s cheese industry ships its cheese to 183 of the world’s 196 countries and it is the number one source of state income, other than the Cheesehead hat industry.
SIDENOTE: The governor of Wisconsin has asked President Biden for a $2.8 trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion trillion bailout. POTUS reportedly replied by saying that if he bails them out, then he will have to bail out the Martian potato industry, and also he will have to bail out the Jupiterian grapefruit industry, not to mention the Saturnian kale industry.
A NASA spokesperson later denied reports of extra-terrestrial farming ventures, claiming that old man Joe was simply “over the moon” with excitement and may have had a “close encounter” with a cup of strong coffee. They reassured the public that Joe was safe at home, now tucked up with his favorite alien plushie and a warm glass of space milk…erm…milk.