MAR-A-LUNACY – (Satire News) – In a shocking turn of events, former president and self-proclaimed king of burgers, Donald “The Chump” Trump, has announced that he’s been traumatized by the recent FBI raid on his Mar-a-Lunacy complex.
According to his BFF, Fox News host Greg “The Swamp Thing” Gutfeld, The Chump is having trouble sleeping, eating his daily 10 Big Macs, and getting it up in the bedroom.
Trump confided to Gutfeld that before the “Terroristic” raid he used to get bteween 24 and 47 erections on a daily basis and since the “Raid” it has gone down to between 2 and 5.
So Ivanka’s sperm donor father says that he has filed a $7.2 billion lawsuit against the FBI for violating his Spaceatillis Domiciloshus.■