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The Reason Garth Brooks and Trisha Yearwood’s Marriage Is Headed For The Dumpster

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TULSA, Oklahoma – (Satire News) – The harmonica player in Garth Brooks band has made it known that the once-happy country couple is now a not-so-happy country pair.

Harmonica player Noreen “Legs” Butterhouse, told Yippee-Ki-Yay Magazine writer Buck Yazoo that the fact of the matter is that Trish loves to cook and pretty much anything she bakes goes straight to her upper thighs, her tummy, and her caboose (ass), as Garth refers to her engorged butt.

Brooks even wrote a song about his wife’s huge badonkadonk titled, “Sweetie, Look In The Mirror and Take a Gander At What’s Following You – It’s Bigger Than The Grand Canyon!”

Meanwhile, Yearwood has written and recorded a song about Brooks titled, “I Hate To Say This You Old Shit Kicker You, But Your Bloated Beer Belly Is Starting To Affect Your Upper Singing Register.”

Miaow!■

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