Want to Know If You Made a Great First Impression? Science Says Watch for Any of These 5 Tells

Making a great first impression is relatively simple, if not always easy. You smile. Make eye contact. Listen more than you speak. Ask questions about the other person. Be what psychologists call a “positive opposite.”

In some cases, all you have to do is believe you will make a good first impression. A study published in Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin shows people who expect to be “accepted” act more warmly and therefore are seen as more likable. Of course, you genuinely have to believe you will be accepted (or at least “George Costanza believe” you will be accepted), which is obviously the hard part.

Knowing how to make a good first impression? Relatively simple. But knowing whether you actually did made a good first impression?

According to a meta-analysis of over 50 studies published in Psychological Bulletin, the key is to look for specific nonverbal and verbal signs to determine if you’ve established some degree of rapport.  

1. They smile, and better yet, laugh. Most people reflexively smile back when you smile. What matters is whether they smile past the initial polite-smile phase.
2. They hold eye contact. The eyes are usually the first indication the other person is thinking about somewhere they would rather be.
3. They maintain physical proximity. We all define personal space differently; the fact you back up half a step might just only mean I’ve slightly encroached on yours. Still, according to the researchers, physical proximity is a key indicator of likability.
4. They start a new topic of conversation. If there’s no spark, polite people see the current topic through and try to move on. But if they bring up something else, without prompting …
5. They unconsciously mimic your nonverbal expressions. A study published in Cognition and Emotion shows other people mimicking your nonverbal expressions indicates they understand the emotions you’re experiencing, and may even result in “emotional contagion.” (Which means, if you want to use your first impression skills manipulatively, copying the other person’s expressions and gestures can make you seem more likable.)

The next time you meet someone new, smile. Make and hold eye contact. Laugh when appropriate. Don’t back away. Shift the conversational focus to the person you just met; one way is to use the three questions rule. The more you’re interested in what they have to say — the more you show you want to understand the other person on a deeper level — the more likely they are to turn a brief encounter into a longer conversation.

All the while, pay attention to how the other person responds. Whether they smile, laugh, and hold eye contact.

And more important, whether they maintain physical proximity, initiate new topics of conversation on their own, and mimic some of your nonverbal expressions.

And then use what you learn to make a better first impression with the next person you meet.

Because the next person you meet could turn out to be one of your most important connections. Or one of your biggest customers.

Or, best of all, one of your closest friends.