9 Simple Habits for High Emotional Intelligence, According to a Yale Expert in Emotional Intelligence

I’m a card-carrying member of Generation X, but I kind of love and identify with Generation Z:

• At least a dozen job changes over nearly three decades of work.
• Deep into my 30s before I could afford to buy real estate.
• And the coup de grace: It took me 27 years to pay off my student loans.

To coin a phrase: Anxiety kept on trying me — especially when it came to work.

But having made it through to the other side, more or less, I’m at the point where I want to pass along what I’ve learned.

That’s why I paid close attention when I came across a recent article by Marc Brackett, Ph.D., the founding director of the Yale Center for Emotional Intelligence and author of Permission to Feel, about what Generation Z should learn about emotional intelligence.

“Your feelings at work aren’t a liability,” Brackett writes. “They’re your superpower.”

Of course, simply having emotions doesn’t make you emotionally intelligent. What separates the professionals who thrive from those who struggle is learning to work with their emotions, not for them.

According to Gallup research, nearly 50% of Gen Z employees report feeling stressed “a lot of the day”—more than any other generation in the workplace today. But here’s what’s different: They’re not willing to suffer in silence about it.

Emotions as data

Brackett’s perspective is that emotions serve as information. They help you understand what matters and what’s working.

Data isn’t always an instruction manual. Excitement can spark innovation or lead to impulsive decisions. Anxiety can motivate preparation or cause burnout. Frustration can help you speak up or shut down collaboration.

What makes the difference is what Brackett describes as “emotion regulation.” That’s the ability to pause, process, and choose a response that aligns with your goals, not just your immediate feelings.

For me, recognizing my anxiety for what it was changed things. I could see the difference between useful concern and useless catastrophizing.

Also hugely helpful: therapy and the right anxiety medications.

(That sounds like a punchline, but it’s not.)

The 9 habits playbook

Anyway, Brackett has spent two decades studying emotional intelligence. Here are 9 habits for developing stronger emotion regulation skills, derived from his recent article:

Give yourself permission to feel.

“There are no bad emotions,” Brackett writes.

Name it to tame it.

Get precise. You’re not just “stressed.” Maybe you’re overwhelmed, anxious, or frustrated. Research shows that simply labeling emotions reduces their intensity.

Reframe before you react.

That critical feedback you received isn’t a personal attack. It’s information you can use.

Find your emotional allies.

A trusted colleague can help you process and problem-solve.

Reset your body.

Sleep, nutrition, exercise, and mindful breathing are “the unsung heroes of regulation,” Brackett writes.

Manage your time wisely.

Brackett asks: “How would the best version of yourself schedule your time?”

Understand disappointment vs. anger.

“Disappointment often stems from unmet expectations,” Brackett explains, “while anger is usually about perceived injustice.” Responding to each requires a different approach.

Practice co-regulation.

Brackett describes “co-regulation” as when a leader’s calm presence helps steady everyone around them.

Hire for emotional skills.

This one is more for the hiring than the hired, but: “A candidate who can recover from setbacks, handle conflict gracefully, and elevate team morale will outperform someone who looks perfect on paper but leaves a trail of burnout.”

The Gen Z advantage

Generation Z is entering a workplace that’s finally talking about mental health. But as Brackett points out, “awareness isn’t enough. Skill is what changes things.”

Gen Z has already challenged the myth that professionalism means emotional silence. According to research from Handshake, almost 9 in 10 Gen Z workers say work-life balance and mental health are “very important” to them at work—ranking higher than advancement.

They don’t see this as being at odds with performance. As one Gen Z survey respondent put it: “I want to be proud of my work and I can’t perform to the best of my ability without taking care of myself.”

For Gen Z especially—navigating hybrid work, constant change, and systems still clinging to outdated norms—this is your edge.

You already value emotional honesty. Brackett’s framework gives you the tools to use it effectively.

As a Generation X-er to the bone, just let me ask a favor: Take what you learn, and pass it along.

Generation Alpha’s going to need some sage advice, too.