What to Do If Someone Un-Ghosts You: The Real Answer

Getting ghosted is one of the worst feelings of dating. And while the majority of the time ghosting is the last you hear from someone, that’s not always the case. Sometimes, Casper themselves (that’s a ghost reference), suddenly reappears and wants to reconnect. 

What should you do if someone who previously ghosted you suddenly comes back into the picture? Today, that’s what we’re going to talk about. 

Ensure It’s Ghosting 

If you’ve read my previous blog on ghosting, this was the first tip there was to make sure you were actually being ghosted. In other words, you don’t want to go nuclear on someone for ghosting you when maybe they had an emergency and weren’t able to contact you. 

Definitely take a minute to read that post because it will help you to decide what is a legitimate reason for disappearing and what might just be an excuse. For the sake of today’s discussion, we’ll be assuming that it was actual ghosting.  

It’s a hard line, “easy” answer. 

So, what do you do if someone ghosted you and suddenly has come back in the picture? The answer is simple. 

Tell them you appreciate them reaching out, but you’re not interested in pursuing any sort of relationship.  

Harsh? Maybe. But here’s the reality. If they did it once, no matter what they say, they’re probably likely to do it again. And the worst part is that it might happen later on in the relationship where it hurts a whole heck of a lot more. 

Spare yourself the risk of the pain and don’t engage. 

Now, you may be wondering why I put easy in quotes? The reason for this is that knowing the correct answer of what to do is easy. However, actually doing it, could be more challenging.  

This is especially true if they’re someone you were really interested in.  

Here’s some truth. No matter how attractive, smart, successful, or amazing they may seem, they chose someone or something else over you. You’re their plan B, C, or even worse. Do you really want to be with someone who doesn’t value you as their first choice? 

I would really hope the answer is no.  

Watch out for the lip service 

Often, ghosters who return tend to be manipulative people who only care about themselves. What this means is you can expect a whole host of affirmations and compliments and excuses as to why this time will be different. 

I won’t tell you how to live your life, but I would highly recommend you don’t fall for this. The best way to make sure that doesn’t happen? Don’t engage. Send the thank you but no thank you text and then let that be the end of the conversation. 

There is no reason (and nothing good that comes from) continuing the conversation. 

It’s up to you, but if you have self-esteem and value yourself, don’t be someone’s alternate plan after everything else didn’t work out.