Should You Put Your Socials on Your Dating Profile?

Spend a little time navigating around dating apps these days and you’ll see a trend of people starting to leave their social media handles on their dating profiles. Often, it’s their Snapchat or Instagram, but sometimes it’s old school Facebook or one of those new unique ones I probably haven’t ever heard of (I’m not old, but I feel like it some days).

So, the question that is probably floating through your mind is, “should I put my socials on my dating profile?” In this post, I want to dig into this and talk first about the reasons you might feel like this is a great idea and then share some ideas why it might not be the best idea.

Let’s go!

Reasons It Might Seem Like a Good Idea

First, let’s look at the reasons that it might look like a good idea to put your socials on your dating profile. For the record, I am not saying that these are valid reasons; I’m merely sharing the reasons it might seem like a good idea from what people are sharing. (I’m also not saying they’re invalid reasons…at least yet).

Everyone else is doing it.

Probably the number one reasons most people do anything on their dating app profile is because everyone else is doing it. Dating online tends to be new to a lot of people, and even those who have done it for years, it can still feel new (or at least like you’re trying to tread water in quicksand).

Because of this, people tend to try and ‘fit in’ with what’s going on by doing what everyone else is. The result? You end up with a lot of people adding their socials to their dating profile.

It lets them get to know me faster.

Most dating apps have limited slots for photos (usually between 3 and 10). For some people, they want the opportunity to show more photos and also to help “verify” that they’re real. They do this by linking to their socials (if links are allowed), or in most cases (since links usually aren’t allowed), they just put their handle for the ole’ cut and paste.

It makes it where I don’t have to pay for premium.

Another big reason that people put their socials on their dating app profile is so they don’t have to pay for premium to send message. The idea is people find you on the dating apps and then instead of sending a message on the app, they “slide into your DMs” (did I use that right?). The idea is no missed connections just because someone didn’t have the right level of account.

Reasons Your Socials on Your Dating Profile May Be a Bad Idea

At this point, I’d imagine a lot of you are probably thinking that putting your socials in your dating profile sounds like a pretty swell idea. Well, as you might expect, there is always two sides to a coin…and the other side of this coin? It’s a big one.

Let’s look at the reasons why putting your socials on your dating profile may not be the greatest of idea.

It invites people into your personal life.

Your social media may be public, but it’s part of your personal life. My guess is that you post things about you that are designed for friends and family, and not every other stranger on the street.

When you put your socials on your dating profile, you invite anyone who can see your profile on the dating app into your personal life.

And just to be clear, this doesn’t just mean the people you messaged with or are interested in. The kinda’ creepy lurker that you don’t even know is looking at your profile? They can see your socials now. I could give you a lot more examples that would not give you good feelings at all, but I think at least one gives you an idea of the vulnerability this brings to the table.

There is no way to block someone completely.

As a continuation of the last point, you lose your ability to block someone completely without A LOT of work (and even then, probably not at all). If all someone has access to on your dating profile is your dating profile, you can block them with the click of a button on the app. And unless you give away personally identifiable information on your profile (which I don’t recommend), that’s the end of having to deal with them.

But if they have your socials? Blocking them on the dating app really does nothing. They can start messaging you, posting on your things, and everything else right on your socials. Additionally, with your personal information that is probably on your socials, they can find your other socials too…and a lot of other really personal things.

It can be dangerous.

If you’re starting to feel uneasy about this, I am doing my job. No, I’m not someone who wants to make you feel bad unnecessarily. However, you do need to understand the actual risks, and yes, danger that comes with putting your socials on your profile.

No, I am not some crazy boomer who thinks everything is dangerous and yells at the TV on a regular basis. I’m coming to you as a rational person who has a lot of experience and has done a lot of research in this area.

Putting your socials on your profile opens you up to a lot exposure and vulnerability that is just not necessary to have success dating online.

It is probably against the TOS of the dating app.

Dating apps are businesses. They need to make money to be able to pay for things like marketing (get you more matches), support (to help you when you need it), and for safety (to keep you safe). When you circumvent the business model by putting your socials on your profile, it’s…get ready for this…it’s stealing. You may disagree with me because they’re a big bad corporation, but at the end of the day, you’re getting benefit from them, and by putting your socials on your profile, you’re “jumping over the fence” to get the benefit without paying.

Number one, this is probably against their terms of service (TOS) and may get you thrown out of the app. And number two, it’s unethical and stealing from the app.

What is my answer to the question?

Now that I’ve given you both sides of the equation, let me definitively give you my answer to the question (though, it may be pretty clear already).

I don’t think it’s a good idea at all. The reward vs the risk is just not something that I think makes sense.

Instead, take the time to really build out your profile to share all the information you want while maintaining the control over it. Keep anything personally identifiable off the profile, but do put your best foot forward.

And if you still want to share your socials? Do it on a one-off basis. If you find in your communications that you want to direct message someone your socials, go for it. I still personally don’t think it’s necessary that early on, but if you’re struggling with this, that can be a nice middle ground.