9 Things About Being Single You Wish Your Married Friends Knew

9 Things About Being Single You Wish Your Married Friends Knew

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It’s true when people say you never know what it’s like to stand in someone else’s shoes.

This disconnect is happening every day in relationships between married and single friends in their 50’s, 60’s and 70’s as both men and women lose long-time spouses.

As a dating coach for women over 50, I hear the pain in women’s voices when they talk about their married friends and the social lives they miss being part of.

They longingly wish they could share what it’s like to be single and alone at this time in their life without coming across as needy or unhappy.

I’ve put together the 9 most common things I’ve heard from women over the years.

My hope is that this blog opens everyone’s eyes (single and married) to be more compassionate and aware of what it’s like when life changes, and you find yourself on your own and no longer part of a couple.

#1 . . . We know you mean well when you tell us what a great catch we are and that we’ll be married again before we know it. 

But when it doesn’t happen right away, we feel like we’re a failure in your eyes.

Instead, we’d love it if you could encourage us to go out and date when we’re ready and that you’ll be there to listen when we need a loving ear.

#2 . . . Please try and give the men we’re dating a chance.

We know it’s hard for you to adjust to us being with someone else especially when we’ve shared a long history.

Whether he is in our life for six months or we marry him, if you and your husband could try to get to know this new man and give him a chance, we’d so appreciate it.

We know it takes effort to get to know someone new but when you choose not to, what we feel is that you don’t care about our friendship anymore and that really hurts because we miss being with you.

#3 . . . Please don’t share that you thought a man was bad for us after we’ve broken up with him. 

Sometimes, even if you didn’t like him, we did.

Our hearts are hurting and we could use your loving support at this time.

#4 . . . If you haven’t heard from us in a while, instead of asking all our old friends if they’ve seen us, give us a call to make sure we’re ok. 

It would mean a lot to know we’re still on your radar.

#5 . . . Please consider inviting us back to the holiday and summer parties we always enjoyed over the years.

We miss connecting with our couple friends both male and female.

We were part of the group for a long time and it hurts to be left out.

#6 . . . Please understand we’ve had to experience a lot of change on our own such as downsizing, loss of pets and people in our lives, and suddenly being single after being part of a couple for so many years. 

You are blessed to have a partner to share your emotions with.

We are doing it all alone.

This is a time we could really use your support.

#7 . . . We can spend a lot of dinner times on both weekdays and weekends alone especially if our kids live far away. 

Let’s have dinner together sometime and bring your husband too.

We’re not interested in him in any way except as a friend and we miss the friendship all of us shared.

#8 . . . Many of us are strong successful women. 

We tend to hide the pain we’re feeling and will act as if everything is alright.

Sometimes if we feel close and safe with you, we will dump everything that has been happening in our lives on you because we have no one else to share our thoughts with.

We don’t mean to do that but we are so grateful you let us express what is on our mind.

#9 . . . We so treasure our friendship and we’re here for you too when you need us.

Now it’s your turn.

Agree? Disagree?

Would love to hear your thoughts.

Just post them below.

Believing in you!

Big hugs ~

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