All you need is love, Love is all you need sang The Beatles. But is love really all that two people need to stay together forever? Is it that people who are madly, passionately, and soul-crushingly in love with each other never separate? Then why do men leave the woman they love?
One day you see your friend’s social media updates, flaunting eternal love with overflowing PDA pictures and quotes, and then suddenly, all of that is replaced with scorned inspirational quotes. So, what changed suddenly? Most of the time, the woman herself has no idea of what’s going on. However, regardless of how arbitrary it may seem, when a man leaves a good woman, it is never without a reason.
Even so, the woman who has been left behind may feel that things came to an abrupt end, and often, may not even know what rocked the boat of her romantic bliss. One of my friends went through something similar. When I reached out to her, all she could manage to say between her sobs was: “Why? Why? Why?”
This ‘why’ makes me brood over questions that have been haunting women for ages: Why do men leave the women they love? Why do guys leave suddenly? Perhaps, there is no one-size-fits-all answer at all. Even so, let’s try to understand the psyche of men who leave seemingly happy and functional relationships.
When Do Men Leave Without Any Explanation?
Relationships are getting more complicated by the day. One pattern emerging from the increasingly complex maze of romantic connections is that often guys just leave their partners without any explanation. How can you solve a problem without knowing what the problem is? The key to any successful relationship is communication. When couples fail to improve communication in the relationship, it can cause them to drift apart.
There are 2.3 million abandoned women in India, according to the Census of India 2011, which is double the rate of divorced women in India. Imagine what the total number would be if the numbers of women abandoned in live-in relationships are also counted. Nevertheless, this data is hard-hitting. A majority of women are completely clueless about the reason behind their abandonment. The question of why do guys leave suddenly continues to haunt them.
What does a woman think when her man leaves her?
Love is hard to find, and one would want to keep it safe and secure when one finds it, right? Wouldn’t a man who loves a woman go to any extent to be with her? “Then why did he leave me?”, one might be led to wonder. Men who leave may have their own reasons to pull the plug on a relationship and yet they don’t make it any easier on their partners by walking away without any explanation or calling it quits without any forewarning.
When a man leaves a good woman suddenly, it can leave her shocked, perplexed, unnerved, and heartbroken to say the least. And, this is especially if he seemed to be so much in love with her. But once the series of ‘whys’ start, they wreak havoc with one’s mental peace.
An expected end to a relationship in itself can be a huge blow but an end without an explanation to a woman who has been planning a future with her partner is downright soul-crushing. By walking away suddenly, men can take away from their former partner the ability to find closure and move on.
But before we get into what causes a man to leave a woman, let’s take a closer look at some of the most common things that run through a woman’s mind after a relationship comes to an abrupt end:
- If he really loved me, how could he leave? – This question gives her sleepless nights. The genuineness of her relationship becomes a question mark. She is so perturbed with the whole concept of love and commitment that she feels as though she may never trust anybody again
- Was it so easy to walk away from the relationship? – When there is no justification provided, the woman tortures herself by overthinking, “How can men who leave, do so without a thought?” The fact that her partner could walk away so easily, while her world has come to a standstill, makes her even more miserable
- How could he walk away from a good woman? – A righteous woman, who is dedicated to her relationship, definitely does not deserve to be dumped without any clarifications. When a man leaves a good woman, she would probably torment herself lifelong trying to get a suitable answer to this question
- Why did he walk away suddenly? – In such cases, the woman starts to retrospect over all the events that could have led to this unexpected departure of her partner. Her frustration level increases with every passing day, as she fails to pinpoint the exact cause that would have led to his sudden exit from her life
Related Reading: Why Do Men Come Back Months Later – When You Have Moved On
Top 8 Reasons Why Men Leave The Women They Love
From bizarre reasons like “My wife refuses to make tea for me” to complicated reasons like “I am in love with my boss’s wife”, a majority of men leave the woman they are with, irrespective of whether their partners still love them or not. Men who leave relationships without any forewarning or in the absence of any critical issues or any potential relationship red flags also leave behind a string of unanswered questions.
Can a man forget a woman he loves? Why do guys leave the girl they love? Did he even love her to begin with if he could leave so easily? Addressing these questions relating to why guys leave suddenly may help you understand the underlying reasons behind their actions:
1. Lack of appreciation
Perhaps the most common reason why a man leaves the woman he loves is when he doesn’t feel appreciated. A little appreciation, gratefulness, and acknowledgment go a long way in strengthening any relationship. Lack of empathy in a relationship spells doom for a couple.
According to a Gratitude Survey conducted for the John Templeton Foundation, only 59% of women show their appreciation toward the man they love. Not showing gratitude, or not acknowledging his gestures can make the relationship mundane. It is an indifferent attitude that can make a man drift away. He would then start looking for people who would appreciate even the smallest of his gestures.
The woman gets so engrossed in the mundane routine that she completely disregards all the efforts of her man. She feels that being a provider is the man’s primary job; why should you keep appreciating him for that? This is when, unknowingly, the woman starts driving her man away. When a man leaves a good woman, it could be because he doesn’t feel valued and appreciated in the relationship.
The resultant boredom and opportunity are factors that trigger a separation. As boredom seeps in through the crevices of a relationship, a man might take it as an opportunity to forge a better relationship elsewhere, thereby leaving his partner in search of someone who can value him and his efforts.
Related Reading: 10 Ways To Shower Appreciation On Your Husband
2. Under pressure and feeling inadequate
Men start feeling inadequate when their women constantly complain about how difficult their life is compared to that of their neighbor. Often, women feel they are just pouring their hearts out in front of the men they love; they don’t need any solutions to their problems.
Men, on the other hand, feel pressured to find quick solutions to all the issues their women have. When he fails to find these solutions, he feels inadequate and pressured in the presence of the woman he let down. The pressure of not satisfying the needs of his woman financially, emotionally, or physically, is what causes a man to leave a woman.
The pressure of performing to the best of one’s capabilities is what takes a toll. A pervading sense of feeling inadequate and incompetent could be overriding his love for you. When a man lets you go easily, it could be because of his underlying sense of inferiority or low self-esteem in the relationship.
3. Compatibility issues
Irrespective of how the relationship started, if at any point there are signs of incompatibility in the relationship, men will be less vocal about it. Sometimes his partner might be totally unaware of how their incompatibility is affecting him. This can cause both partners to drift apart, making them more and more out of sync.
Eventually, when there is nothing common left between the couple to discuss or share, the woman might still continue to ignore the situation. But the man would prefer to exit this dead relationship without any clarifications. If you’ve ever wondered why do guys leave the girl they love, this could be a probable reason.
4. Lack of intimacy
Contrary to common perception, lack of sex is not the primary reason why men leave; it is the lack of intimacy. Physical and emotional intimacy is the fuel of any relationship. It can make couples overcome the toughest of barriers. Having said that, the importance of sex in a relationship can never be undermined.
When a couple has different sex drives, one is bound to be left unsatisfied. This imbalance develops a crack in the relationship, which could be rectified by emotional intimacy, but only to a certain extent. Any couple’s bond can be easily broken if there is no intimacy. Not feeling connected to his partner is what causes a man to leave a woman.
What makes a man remember a woman is the emotional connection they forge when they get intimate. Studies point out the significant role played by the hormone oxytocin that is released after sexual activity. Physical intimacy gives a boost to a man’s oxytocin levels which in turn strengthens a couple’s romantic bond. Lack of physical intimacy and the intermittent emotional bond might make a man pull a disappearing act.
Related Reading: Reasons why men have extramarital affairs
5. No respect in the relationship
Why do guys leave the girl they love? The answer to this question can be found in how well a man is respected in the relationship. While love is definitely what brings two people together, it is on the foundation of trust and mutual respect that the relationship is built. Even the strongest of emotional ties can snap if a partner doesn’t feel trusted or respected. Regardless of how much a man loves his woman, there is a limit to which he would be ready to give in.
Samantha and Rob have been in a relationship for 5 years now. After having a whirlwind of a romance during their college days, they mutually decided to get married right after their graduation. While Samantha landed up bagging a decent job, Rob had a tough time. Even though they initially tried to sail their love boat smoothly with limited finances, it did take a toll eventually.
At some point, Rob started to feel his opinions were not being respected. What began in light-hearted jest, soon turned into a clash of egos with respect and admiration at stake. Snide remarks, taunts, and increasing lack of respect in their relationship made things go south.
Can a man stay away from a woman he loves? Yes, he can. When he finds his individuality and identity in danger, he can. That is when he wouldn’t mind taking drastic steps to get out of his meek persona. Most men prefer a woman who respects them more than she loves them. Often, men leave good women because they cannot compromise their self-respect.
6. Infidelity in a relationship
A cheating partner is detrimental to any relationship. Infidelity either by the woman or the man can lead to abandonment. If the woman cheats, he may find it impossible to prolong the relationship due to trust issues. In case the man has cheated and the partner forgives him, then continuing to live together could still be difficult.
A study conducted by the Institute for Family Studies highlights infidelity as a recurring cause of the failure of relationships. Infidelity is a breach of trust, no matter which out of the two partners initiates an extra-marital affair. Any relationship cannot withstand the turbulence of emotions and heartache when faced with the perils of cheating.
A man would try to resist a woman he loves when he finds their relationship threatened by infidelity. Either there could be constant taunting by a partner or the overwhelming feeling of guilt that will ensure the relationship is never the same. Eventually, when a man can’t handle it anymore, he will decide to leave. Men who leave relationships seemingly suddenly have either had their trust broken or have been unable to shake off the cheating guilt.
7. Restrictive and authoritative relationship
A man might have certain other commitments that might often become his top priority and if his partner fails to understand his priorities, he may have no option other than leaving her, even if it hurts. This other commitment could be an ailing relative, job aspiration, social cause, or children from past relationships.
What matters to a person is their freedom of choice– the choice to live a life they want, the choice to prioritize the things that matter to them. When this choice feels threatened by a partner, it can lead to a strenuous relationship. restricting and authoritative ways can never go well in any relationship. Going back to the case of Samantha and Rob, when Samantha’s financial independence imposed limitations on Rob, barring him from shouldering the medical expenses of his parents, he felt trapped in his relationship. Her authoritarian ways had to be called out.
If a man is given an ultimatum to choose between his duty and his woman, a righteous man will choose his duty over the woman he loves, because that ultimatum itself proves that his partner does not love him enough.
If you are still wondering “Why do guys leave suddenly? If a man loves you will he fight for you or fight with you? It is unbelievable to have no reason behind such a sudden exit.” then you’re right, there has to be a reason. And, one possible reason could be that he feels that his partner is trying to clip his wings or is constricting and preventing him from being who he wants to be.
Related Reading: 9 Examples Of Mutual Respect In A Relationship
8. He is a narcissist
This famous quote by Rihanna, “Never underestimate a man’s ability to make you feel guilty for his mistakes” is apt for all those men who abandon their women without any reason, warning, and explanation. Yes, these types of men do exist. They are so self-centered that at any given opportunity, they will pick what is best for them, even if it means hurting someone’s feelings.
Your partner could be too full of himself to even notice your emotions. No doubt, he loves you, yet he decides to leave you. Their emotional detachment is abrupt and unexplainable. When you live with a narcissistic husband, the relationship feels like a one-man show. It is solely for him, of him, and by him.
Narcissistic people have an exaggerated sense of self-importance; hence they feel they have all the right to abandon anyone at any time. In this case, the woman should only be glad that he is gone. A relationship with a narcissistic man can be emotionally draining. One cannot pour out of an empty cup. The truth is, sometimes in love too, two people find it difficult to be together.
You can ruminate over your relationship issues and try to mend fences with the same partner or use the lesson learned to rebuild another relationship. There could be many reasons why a man leaves a good woman whom he loves. But once he does, make sure you do not meddle with your sanity or happiness by blaming yourself.
Key Pointers
- A man might suddenly leave a woman whom he loves without citing any reasons or explanations
- His disappearing act might stem from varied reasons
- A man who feels disrespected, not appreciated, restricted, and inadequate might decide to walk away
- Narcissism and infidelity are some of the grave concerns that can instigate such an absconding act
- Communicate with your partner to make amends and eliminate the reason for his behavior, if both the partners are willing to give things another chance
- Respect each other’s choices and find happiness in self-love
A wise decision would be to openly communicate with your partner and iron out the creases. Attempt to sew in the loose ends of your relationship only if both of you mutually agree to give it another chance. Else, you can always move on in life toward the better things that await you. The bottom line is to respect each other’s decisions and find your own happiness.
FAQs
Yes, a man can walk away from a woman whom he loves. There is more to every relationship than just love. If a man feels insecure, undervalued, disrespected, or unhappy with the relationship, then he might choose to walk out even when he loves his partner.
A man might decide to ignore a woman he loves due to multiple reasons. The timeline of the ignoring phase is subjective and will differ from person to person. However, once the reason why he might be ignoring his partner is eliminated, he might get back to normalcy.
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