Perfection seems to be the goal we’re all striving for. But how can we ever achieve perfection if we’re knowingly imperfect? It’s like trying to find the pot of gold at the end of the rainbow—we keep chasing it even though we know it doesn’t exist.
What if there were a way, though, to see those imperfections as something perfect?
That’s the essence of Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life by Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani, co-founder of Mindvalley. The quotes from her book are like a breath of fresh air in a world that often seems suffocatingly perfect.
And to inspire you to embrace all your quirks and flawesomeness, here are some hand-picked quotes from her book. So grab a cup of tea (or coffee, if that’s your thing), and let’s get down to it.
1. Becoming Self-Accepting
The only person whose rejection you have to fear is your own. As long as you can accept yourself, the world has no choice but to accept you as well. And if it doesn’t, you won’t give a damn anyway.
Have you ever felt so joyful and giddy when someone invited you to be part of their group? It’s not an uncommon response—chest up, head high, and a smile that could go on for days.
What is it about acceptance from others that makes us feel good? And why do we rely on external sources to feel this way?
That’s what this perfectly imperfect quote pinpoints: when you’re constantly seeking other people to tell you that you’re worthy, it can lead to feelings of anxiety and depression. However, with self-validation, the opinions of others no longer hold the same power over you.
The best part of it all is that self-acceptance has mental health benefits. The results of a research study found that those who are able to recognize their worth are bound to be happier and more satisfied in life.
What you can do: Make a list of your positive qualities as a reminder of how great you really are.
And as you do, always keep in mind that being open to embracing all that you are comes with self-compassion and a lot of kindness. So instead of criticizing yourself, as the Plastics in Mean Girls do, try to approach yourself with understanding and forgiveness.
2. Becoming a Catalyst for Change
Change is not a natural consequence of pain; it is a sign of healing.
Change is about as fun as a root canal. Most of the time, we only give in when we’re forced to face our pain, like when we’re stuck in a relationship that’s about as delightful as a wet sock.
But here’s the reality of it: Just because you’re hurting doesn’t mean you change for the better. Nope.
Real change—the kind that turns you into the authentic version of yourself—only happens when you use that pain to heal your trauma. If you don’t, well, you’ll just keep on running on hurt without any positive change.
What you can do: It’s all about seeing pain as a chance for growth, like one of those “character-building” moments your mom always talks about. You’ve got the power to choose how you react to pain, so why not use it as a springboard to awesomeness?
3. Becoming a Self-Love Advocate
Self-care is about surviving, while self-love is about thriving.
They’re commonly mistaken for one or the other. But when it comes to self-love vs. self-care, there are some major differences to take note of.
Self-care revolves around taking care of your basic needs, ones that crop up on a daily basis. This can be in the form of getting enough sleep, eating healthy foods, and exercising. And more often than not, when people talk about going for a massage or taking a bubble bath, they’re talking about self-care.
Self-love, at its core, is all about being BFFs with you. Consequently, it’s not just about routines or specific actions.
While self-care can support and nurture self-love, it doesn’t guarantee it. In many cases, self-care can be a sign of self-love, but it’s not always a one-way ticket to loving yourself.
When you know the nuanced differences between self-love and self-care, you can better address your own emotional and personal needs. And that, in turn, can help you nurture a deeper connection with yourself.
What you can do: If you’re looking for routines to take care of yourself, try spending time in nature, practicing being kind to yourself, or treating yourself to a great meal.
And if you’re looking for self-love ones, try practicing positive self-talk, acknowledging your achievements, and celebrating your wins.
4. Becoming Emotionally Resilient
I believe that the biggest problem of contemporary society is emotional analgesia. We learn to ignore emotional pain, focusing on the positive and demanding good vibes only, slapping on band-aids, and popping paracetamols to feel better, while our lives break and deteriorate from undetected trauma.
Tough times are inevitable—heartbreaks, losses, or just the everyday stress of adulting. And what did you do to cope?
Did you slap on a smile and pretend everything was fine? Or did you buy a pint of ice cream and go on a date with Netflix?
While these attempts to ignore your emotional pain may cover you for a minute, they won’t help you much in the long run. That’s where emotional resilience comes in.
There is plenty of research that shows how beneficial it can be. One such study found that when you’ve got high emotional resilience, you’re more likely to have greater well-being.
And why not? Much like Mister Fantastic of the Fantastic Four, this superpower helps you bounce back, adapt to stress and adversity, and thrive, even in tough times.
What you can do: The next time life throws you for a loop, don’t ignore it or drown it in a tub of ice cream. Instead, use it as an opportunity to build your emotional resilience.
You can do so by practicing being fully present in the moment. This can help you be more aware of the emotions you’re feeling and the thoughts and behaviors that come as a result. Try meditation, breathing exercises, and yoga—all great ways to practice mindfulness.
5. Becoming Unapologetically Happy
You will do this world a great favor if you allow yourself to prioritize your own happiness.
Imagine if the world were a bakery and happiness were the sugar that sweetened everything up. Be honest with yourself: Would you want to be the bland, sugarless muffin? Or would you prefer to be the sweet, delicious cinnamon roll?
Putting your diet aside, you’d most likely choose to be the cinnamon roll, right? So in life, why not choose happiness, too?
Plus, making it a priority for yourself isn’t just good for you; actually, it’s good for those around you. When you’re bubbling with joy, you radiate positive vibes, and that ripple effect spreads to everyone else.
And the best part? There’s evidence that shows prioritizing happiness is far from selfish—it’s actually selfless. That’s what this one study found: happy individuals tend to do more volunteer work, donate money, or help others.
What you can do: One way to cultivate your happiness is through gratitude. This helps you channel your focus on what you have instead of what you lack.
Grab a journal and write down three things you’re thankful for, starting today.
6. Becoming Aligned With Yourself
Your relationship with the world is a reflection of your relationship with yourself.
If you’re trying too hard to get things to go your way, this is one of Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s quotes that may just resonate with you. And perhaps inspire you to align yourself with what you value and believe.
Even research shows that this will help you experience less stress and more positive emotions. And what happens as a result? Better quality of life.
Because let’s be real: if you’re not happy with yourself, it’s going to be hard to find happiness elsewhere. But when you have a clearer sense of your values and interests, you’ll start making choices that align with them.
What you can do: Get to know yourself. Ask yourself these very important questions:
- What makes you feel alive?
- What are you interested in?
- Can you name your strengths?
- What about your weaknesses?
Learning how to be authentic is a journey and it’s okay if you’re not always on point. So remember to be patient and kind to yourself along the way.
7. Becoming Flawesome
Authenticity is not a switch—you cannot flick it on and off at will.
Here’s the honest truth: It’s time to let go of the idea that you have to be perfect all the time. Authenticity, in every sense of the word, is not about being perfect; it’s about being true to yourself, or, as Kristina puts it, “becoming flawesome.”
However, it’s not like a light switch; you can’t just be authentic one minute and unauthentic the next. It takes effort and time, but as with most things that require those two aspects, it’s worth it.
One study on positive self-statements supports this. Their findings show that when you’re able to accept your flaws, you’re more likely to have higher self-esteem. Plus, there’s less anxiety and depression.
Think of flawesomeness like a diamond—they’re not perfect, but it’s their imperfections that make them unique. The same goes for you. You don’t have to be flawless to be valuable and beautiful; you’re amazing as you are.
What you can do: If you’re looking for inspiration from someone who embraces their imperfections, head over to Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani’s Instagram page (for those of you who’re wondering, it’s @kristinamand).
She shares her personal thoughts and struggles, from feeling like an imposter to finding confidence. By being vulnerable and authentic, she creates a space for others, like you, to do the same.
Great Change Starts With You
Flawesomeness is not something you chase after; rather, it’s how you live. It’s living life with the confidence, resilience, and grit that this—every little thing about you—is who you are.
When you accept yourself, flaws and all, you may just find that perfection is rather dull. Because it’s your imperfections that add character to your personality.
No one knows this better than Kristina Mänd-Lakhiani. And her book, Becoming Flawesome: The Key to Living an Imperfectly Authentic Life, is everything you need to know about stepping into the real you.
Tatiana Azman
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