You’ve likely heard that opposites attract. If you identify as an introverted man, the idea of attracting an extroverted woman might understandably make you feel a bit nervous. However, the good news is that relationships between two people are more than labeling ourselves as simply extroverted or introverted. 

You may remember the Myers-Briggs personality test from high school psychology or a team-building exercise at work. The Myers-Briggs Type Indicator provides insight into sixteen personality types that are more complex than simply “introverted” and “extroverted.” Suppose you identify more closely with an introverted personality. In that case, you may be either INFP (Introverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Prospecting) or INTJ (Introverted, Intuitive, Thinking, and Judging), both of which are perfect matches for an ENFP (Extroverted, Intuitive, Feeling, and Perceiving) woman.

Today we are sharing seven tips on how to attract an ENFP woman.

1. Be confident

ENFP women are confident and crave communication and emotional intelligence. They like to surround themselves with like-minded people. When approaching an ENFP woman, be grounded in your ability to start a conversation. Since ENFP women love to be challenged, they will be intrigued by your self-assuredness and want to learn more about you.

2. Share about your passions

Just as being confident is essential to ENFP women, they are also excellent communicators who thrive on exciting and fulfilling conversations. Talk to an ENFP woman about something you’re passionate about. Thought Catalog’s Heidi Priebe writes, “A good debate is a good first date. The more ideas you bring to the table, the sexier you become to an ENFP.” An ENFP woman will pick up on her passion and feel curious and enthusiastic to contribute to the conversation.

3. Explore the arts

ENFP women are often described as creative and express themselves through the arts just as well as they do with effective communication. You’ll often find an ENFP woman writing, playing a musical instrument, creating art, doing DIY projects, reading, acting, or dancing. Many ENFP women turn these popular hobbies into careers as well, especially as they tend to be very driven women. Try honing in on any of these art-centric activities that may have always interested you, or try a new skill.

4. Try something new and exciting

ENFP women are spontaneous and tend to be resistant to plans, schedules, and routines. While they love being around people, ENFP women do not like to feel restricted to one event or activity and enjoy bouncing around from one task or activity to another. Try suggesting the two of you try something new and exciting together, such as a recently-opened restaurant, an area of the city you haven’t explored, or a creative task you haven’t tried before.

5. Go with the flow

As we mentioned earlier, ENFP women do not enjoy feeling as though they are being held back. They prefer to be continuously challenged so they can thrive and grow, and they are looking for a partner who can grow along with them. According to LifeHack’s Randy Skillton, “There is nothing an ENFP hates more than the feeling of being tied down, and they will not put their personal growth on the back burner. An ideal partner for an ENFP will engage them in new thoughts and ideas and expose them to scenarios that challenge them.” If you’re more resistant to change, an ENFP woman’s spontaneous, extroverted nature may be slightly jarring at first. Instead of trying to hold her back, challenge yourself to get out of your shell.

6. Be supportive and encouraging

Feeling grounded and comfortable is likely very important to you if you’re an introvert. ENFP women can often become overwhelmed, emotional, and overthought. They need a partner to reassure them with a shoulder to cry on. Regardless of the scenario, make sure to be supportive and encouraging with any situation she brings to your attention. 

7. Give her space to be who she is

ENFP women are charismatic and outgoing. They love engaging in conversation with others, sometimes interpreted as flirting. Thought Catalog’s Michelle Dierker writes, “Accept the fact that your world has collided with someone who absolutely loves people and shows genuine interest in just about everyone. But also know that our loyalties run deep; if we have chosen you, we will invest in you fully. ENFPs are very much all-or-nothing types. You’ll know if we’re not fully invested in you.” Support her by giving her space to be who she is, and she will be thankful for your loyalty!

Conclusion on how to attract an ENFP woman

Dating or trying to attract an ENFP woman as an INTJ or INFP man can sometimes feel challenging at first glance. Be sure to pay attention to your needs and recharge with plenty of alone time. While challenging ourselves to step outside our comfort zone is always a good idea, be mindful to stay true to who you are as a person.

Introverted Alpha has everything you could hope for and more if you’re an introvert looking for a helpful and intuitive dating coach for men. We have helped thousands of men attract women naturally. Bring out your best self with a genuine, custom approach created especially for introverted men. Click here to find out more!


Introverted Alpha has been helping smart introverted men attract women naturally since 2014. This powerful woman-led team has been featured in Business Insider, Forbes, Entrepreneur, AskMen, Men’s Fitness, and many more. Introverted Alpha is best known for its gentle, logical advice perfect for the introverted man to improve his dating and social life and his confidence.

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