5 Tips from an Introvert to Take the Nightmare Out of Networking

Some people are really good at networking. They love talking to people. They’re great at remembering names. Carrying on a conversation with a stranger is easy for them.

I, on the other hand, am not one of those people. I hate the idea of walking into a room full of people I don’t know and starting a conversation. I am an introvert, and networking is one of the most painful parts of professional life. 

Unlike extroverts, who get their energy from being around others, introverts get energy from being alone. I have always found the process to be draining, uncomfortable, and forced.

The thing is, as painful as it is, networking is a very useful skill, especially if you’re an entrepreneur. If the success of your business depends on meeting new customers or business partners, it’s worth spending time making those relationships. As uncomfortable as it may be for introverts, there is value in learning how to overcome the pain.

Thankfully, there are a few things I’ve learned that can make it a little less painful, and a lot more productive:

One of the most important things you can do happens before you ever show up at a networking event. The goal is to make yourself as physically and mentally comfortable as possible to eliminate both anxiety and physical stress. 

For example, know who you’re going to meet. Learning about some of the other people you might encounter takes away some of the uncertainty. It’s 2022–doing a little research on the people you might isn’t hard. This will give you peace of mind that you won’t run out of talking points during the conversation.

Even better, reach out to a few other attendees and introduce yourself ahead of time. A simple “I’m looking forward to meeting you this week,” can go a long way towards reducing the stress and anxiety that goes with meeting new people. 

One of the more effective ways to eliminate some of the exhaustion that comes with being around people is to be as comfortable as you can while still being professional. That means wearing comfortable shoes and clothes you feel good about.

If social situations cause you more than just exhaustion, but anxiety, another idea is to visit the location you’ll be attending. Or, if you’re meeting someone outside of an event, take them somewhere you’ve already been. It may seem unconventional but finding familiarity in your setting is a good way to overcome feelings of uncertainty about how the situation will go.

If conversations with new people seems terrifying, here’s a simple rule: stop worrying about “making a sale.” Instead, just focus on the relationship. 

The point of networking should never be to close a deal. That puts far too much pressure on the conversation. Obviously a lot of new business comes from the relationships you make while networking, but that’s the point–it all starts with the relationship. Instead, just talk to people without worrying whether the conversation will lead to a new customer or partner or job. 

One of the hardest things about networking as an introvert is that conversations can be exhausting. What’s the best way to manage a conversation? Ask lots of questions. The truth is, most people like to talk about themselves, especially if they’re in to networking. Do yourself a favor and let them.

Obviously,  you can start with simple questions like “tell me what you do for a living,” but honestly, if you really want to make an impression, you can probably do better. That’s especially true if you do your homework. Make a point to know something about a few of the fellow attendees so that instead you can ask questions like “I saw that your company just closed a round of funding last week. I’d love to hear about your growth strategy.”

Finally, know when to quit. It’s perfectly reasonable to decide in advance that you’re only going to spend an hour at a networking event. It’s also perfectly acceptable to decide you’ve reached your limit and to excuse yourself and go home. There is no rule that says you have ot be the first one to show up and the last to leave.