Prepare to rattle your funny bones with this bone-afide collection of skeleton puns!
The best skeleton puns and jokes
Whether you’re a fan of anatomy, crazy about Halloween, or just love a good laugh, these skeleton puns are bound to hit the spot.
Use them at your Halloween party, on instagram captions, in TikTok videos, or just when you need to lighten the mood. They’re family-friendly, so you can enjoy them with people of all ages.
Read on for a whole host of cute skeleton jokes, skeleton puns and jokes about bones.
Family-friendly skeleton jokes
1. What do you call a skeleton who never does his chores? Lazy bones.
2. Why did the skeleton quit his job? His heart wasn’t in it.
3. What did the French skeletons say before eating their dinner? Bone appetit!
4. What’s a skeleton’s favourite thing to do with their cell phone? Take skelfies.
5. Who is the most famous skeleton detective? Sherlock Bones.
6. What do you call a skeleton that looks exactly the same as another skeleton? Dead ringer.
7. Why did the skeleton want a friend? Because he was feeling bonely.
8. What’s the best way to make a skeleton laugh? Tickle its funny bone.
9. Why didn’t the skeleton eat spicy food? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
10. What Spanish food do skeletons enjoy most? Patella.
11. What did the skeleton say when it won the lottery? “I’m feeling bone-afide lucky!”
12. Why did the skeleton go to acting classes? He wanted tibia star.
13. Why do skeletons hate the cold? It sends chills up their spine.
14. How do you imprison a skeleton? Put him in a rib cage.
15. Why did the skeleton go to the library? To bone up on its reading skills.
16. Why does a skeleton make a good manager? Because it’s a natural bone leader.
Funny skeleton puns
17. What kind of TV does a skeleton watch? A skelevision.
18. Why was the skeleton lonely? It had no-body.
19. Why did the skeleton go to the hospital? To have his ghoul bladder removed.
20. What do skeletons say as they head out to sea? Bone voyage.
21. Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
22. What kind of plate do skeletons eat on? Bone china.
23. Why couldn’t the skeleton get out of bed? It was bone tired.
24. What does a skeleton order at a restaurant? Spare ribs.
25. How did the skeleton know it was going to rain? He could feel it in his bones.
26. What did the doctor say to the skeleton who had a temperature of 103 degrees? “Looks like you’re running a femur.”
27. What do you call a skeleton who goes out in the snow? A numb-skull.
28. Where do bad jokes about skeletons belong? In the skelebin.
29. What’s a skeleton’s favourite element? Car-bone.
30. How did the skeleton say to his girlfriend? “Will you marrow me?”
31. What’s a skeleton’s least favourite room in the house? The living room.
32. Why didn’t the skeleton go to the scary movie? He didn’t have the guts.
33. How did the skeleton get into the top university? It won a skull-arship.
More funny skeleton jokes
34. Why did the skeleton go to prison? Because he was bad to the bone.
35. How do skeletons say hello in France? Bonejour.
36. Did you hear about the skeleton who dropped out of medical school? He didn’t have the stomach for it.
37. Why did the skeleton go to the dance? To see the boogie man.
38. What happened to the skeleton who sat by the fire too long? He became bone dry.
39. Why are skeletons so calm? Because nothing gets under their skin.
40. What’s a skeleton’s favourite rock band? Bone Jovi.
41. What’s a skull’s second favourite rock band? The Grateful Dead.
42. Why didn’t the skeleton play football? His heart wasn’t in it.
43. Who is the most famous French skeleton? Napoleon Bone-apart.
44. Why didn’t the police arrest the skeleton? Because they couldn’t pin anything on him.
45. What’s a skeleton’s favourite way to fly? By skelecopter.
46. What type of art do skeletons like? Skulltures.
47. What did the skeleton say to the other skeleton when it was angry? You’re dead to me.
48. What is half the diameter of a skeletal circle? The radius.
49. Why can’t skeletons play church music? Because they have no organs.
Skeleton humour to get the kids laughing
50. What does a skeleton use to cut through objects? A shoulder blade.
51. What did the skeleton say to the vampire? “You suck.”
52. What do skeletons complain about? Aching bones.
53. Who won the race between the skull and the skeleton? The skull, it was just ahead.
54. What do you call a skeleton who hangs out in coffee shops and listens to indie music? A hip-ster.
55. Why did the skeleton student stay late at school? He was boning up for his exam.
56. What’s a skeleton’s favourite shellfish? Mus-skulls.
57. Why did the skeleton start a fight? Because he had a bone to pick.
58. How did the skeleton reprimand their kids? They skull-ded them.
59. How did the skeleton win the talent show? It had an unbeatable “bone”-afide act.
60. What did the skull say when it won the race? “I guess I had a head start!”
61. How did the skeleton know the other skeleton was lying? He could see right through him.
62. What’s a skeleton’s favourite song? “Bone to be wild”.
63. What’s a skeleton’s second favourite song? “I ain’t got no body.”
64. What’s a skeleton’s third favourite song? “Bad to the bone”.
More hilarious skeleton jokes
65. What happened to the pirate ship that sank in a sea full of sharks? It came back with a skeleton crew.
66. What’s a skull’s favourite yoga position? The headstand.
67. How do you call a skeleton? On his cell bone.
68. Why are skeletons so good at telling jokes? Because they have a funny bone.
69. What kind of birds do skeletons like best? Sea skulls.
70. What’s a skeleton’s favourite holiday? Hallowe’en.
71. Who won the skeleton beauty contest? No body.
72. What did the skeleton write in the Valentines card? “I love every bone in your body.”
73. Why do skeletons go to the gym? To develop their mu-skulls.
74. How do skeletons stay calm? They keep their cool even when things get bony.
75. What do you call a lie told by a skeleton? A fibula.
76. Who won the race between the skeleton and the skull? The skull, it had a head start.
77. What do skeletons hate the most about the wind? Nothing. It goes right through them.
78. How do skeletons keep track of their appointments? With a skull-endar.
79. What’s a skeleton’s favourite plant? A bone-zai tree.
80. How did skeletons send mail in the old days? They used the bony express.
Humerus bone jokes
81. What is a skeleton’s favourite instrument? A sax-a-bone.
82. What’s a skeleton’s second favourite musical instrument? A trom-bone.
83. Where do young skeletons go to study? Elementary skull.
84. What’s a skeleton’s third favourite instrument? The xylobone.
85. How do you release a skeleton from prison? Use a skeleton key.
86. Why didn’t the skeleton rob the bank? Because he didn’t have the guts.
87. What do you call a group of musical skeletons? A dead-ication of musicians.
88. Why can’t skeletons fly over Area 51? It’s a no-fly-bone.
89. What is a skeleton’s favourite mode of transport? A scare-plane.
90. What happened when the skeleton ran into the duck? He got his skull quacked.
91. How do you make a skeleton laugh? Tell it a rib-tickling joke.
92. What do you call it when you get two skeletons for the price of one? A bone-dle deal.
93. What kind of pasta do skeletons enjoy eating the most? Elbow macaroni.
94. What do you call a skeleton who’s always late? A bone-fide procrastinator.
95. Why don’t skeletons like Halloween candy? They don’t have the stomach for it.
96. What do bony people use to get into their homes? Skeleton keys.
97. Why didn’t the skeleton laugh at the joke? Because he didn’t have a funny bone.
Clever skeleton puns
98. What is a skeleton’s favourite type of film to watch? A spine-tingler.
99. What do you call a skeleton with no friends? Bonely.
100. How much does an elephant skeleton weigh? Skele-tons.
101. What did the skeleton say when he almost dropped his skull? “Phew, nearly lost my head there!”
102. Where do skeletons stay when they go on holiday? In bone-galows.
103. Who is a skeleton’s favourite female movie star? Ulna Thurman.
104. What do you call a skeleton who rings the doorbell? A dead ringer.
105. What kind of fish do skeletons like to eat? Carpals.
106. What type of candy sent the skeleton to the hospital? Jawbreakers.
107. What’s a skeleton’s favourite place to hang out? A hip joint.
108. Why do skeletons like to drink milk? Because milk is so good for the bones.
109. How much does a pile of skulls weigh? A skeleTON.
110. What kind of jokes do skeletons tell? Humerus ones.
111. There’s not much to this skeleton joke. It’s bare bones.
Spooky skeleton puns
112. Bone to be wild
113. Just skull-king around
114. Running a femur
115. Bone appetit
116. An a-bone-dance of skeletons
117. Lazy bones
118. Taking a skelfie
119. Dead ringer
120. Nowhere tibia found
121. Social skulls
122. Bonely hearts
123. Bone of contention
124. Tickle your funny bone
125. A star is bone
126. Bone-afide
127. Bone-anza
128. Natural bone leader
129. Bone voyage
130. One trick bony
131. Break your backbone
More bone puns
132. Close to the bone
133. Bone tired
134. Bad to the bone
135. Feeling bonely
136. Bare bones
137. Bone under a lucky star
138. You’ve just bone it
139. Get off my backbone
140. I wasn’t bone yesterday
141. It’s bonely at the top
142. Bonejour
143. Bone this way
144. Joint forces
145. Stop ribbing me
146. You’ve got tibia kidding
147. Femur pitch
148. Spine of the times
149. Nomi-knee
150. If you can’t beat ‘em, joint ‘em
151. Are you spine on me?
Puns for skeleton fun
152. Face the tooth
153. Knuckle on wood
154. Carpal diem
155. Luck of the jaw
156. Saturday night femur
157. On the straight and marrow
158. Joint at the hip
159. Knee-dy
160. Tell-tale spine
161. Don’t knuckle it ’til you’ve tried it
162. Got a bone to pick
163. Not all it’s cracked up tibia
164. Joint the dots
165. Ain’t got no body
166. Jaw the short straw
167. Bony up
168. We share a boned
169. Tibia perfectly honest
170. Spick and spine
171. Socket to ‘em
Cool skeleton puns
172. Marrow-minded
173. I want to be a-bone
174. That’s a bone-us
175. Knuckle me into shape
176. Tell the tooth
177. Jaw a line in the sand
178. Jungle femur
179. Watch your backbone
180. Very skullful
181. Cell bone
182. Joint the club
183. Warning spine
184. Absolutely fibula-ous
185. Here today, gone to-marrow
186. Made of sternum stuff
187. Knuckle it off
188. Stop telling fibulas
189. Cabin femur
190. A bone-afide skeleton pun
191. These skeleton puns are really humerus
More spooky jokes and puns
Halloween jokes
Add some giggles to your Halloween fun with our Halloween jokes for kids.
Pumpkin puns
This collection of pumpkin puns and jokes is perfect for a pumpkin carving session.
Skull puns
Even more skeleton-themed gags, this time with a focus on skull puns.
Halloween quotes
100 brilliant Halloween quotes that you can use on social media posts, decorations, and greetings cards.
Halloween crafts
And finally, two simple Halloween nature crafts: pumpkin fairy house and spooky spider plants.
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