Cheating in monogamous relationships is a tale as old as time. There have been countless stories of unfaithful partners throughout the ages and pretty much across all cultures. But the modern age of smartphones, social media platforms, and dating apps has taken it to another level. Especially with the rise of Snapchat cheating.
The Snapchat app took the world by storm when it introduced the concept of disappearing messages. And while it wasn’t intended for cheating on partners, it has become the go-to app for the unfaithful. So, is Snapchat a cheating app?
Well, not really, but its use for cheating has become so rampant that if you have the Snapchat app installed on your cell phone people tend to assume that you’re Snapchat cheating. And if your partner is one among the millions of Snapchat users and that has got you worried that they may be cheating on you, we’re here to help. Together, we will figure out how to catch someone cheating on Snapchat.
What Is Snapchat Cheating?
You may be wondering how people cheat on their partners without having sex outside their relationship. Well, cheating doesn’t have to be physical. Emotional cheating is most definitely a thing. While physical cheating may be about pleasure, emotional cheating has more to do with having one’s unmet needs met outside the relationship and can, thus be far more worrisome.
Snapchat cheating tends to fall into the second category but it can have a sexual element as well. It involves sexting and the exchange of risque photos with someone, knowing that these snaps will disappear forever once seen. Snapchat makes it super easy for cheaters in this day and age. And while you may not think it is as bad as sleeping around behind a partner’s back, it can and does tear relationships apart. So if your partner is among the ‘avid’ Snapchat users, you might want to read on.
Related Reading: 17 Signs Your Partner Is Having An Online Affair
12 Signs Your Partner Is Guilty Of Snapchat Cheating
So how do you spot a partner Snapchat cheating? After all, you may have set boundaries in your relationship about each other’s phones. This makes it easy for Snapchat cheats to get away with their philandering. A partner Snapchat cheating may also hide behind the idea that they’re not sleeping around outside the relationship. This is a classic gaslighting tactic used by people to justify online affairs.
However, a betrayal of trust is a betrayal of trust, irrespective of whether it’s in the real world or the virtual realm. There is no denying that online affairs are reshaping the idea of fidelity. As easy as it has become for a Snapchat cheating wife or husband or partner to get away with their indiscretions, you can make sure they don’t continue taking you for a ride. Pay attention to these telltale signs that can serve as Snapchat cheating evidence:
1. They’ve become unusually possessive or secretive with their phone
If your partner has suddenly become possessive of their phone, or secretive about their use of the phone, it could be a sign that they’re Snapchat cheating. This is what it might look like:
- They make sure to face you so you don’t see their screen
- They always keep their cell phone face down when not using it
- They leave your presence more than usual when checking their phone
- They won’t let you use their phone even to make routine phone calls
Related Reading: What Is Micro-Cheating And What Are The Signs?
2. They have another Snapchat Super BFF
Snapchat’s best friend feature is a great way to see what your partner is up to without going through their phone. This allows Snapchat users to have several best friends (BFs) which are indicated by a 😊 icon next to their username. And BFs you’ve been interacting with the most frequently get upgraded to Besties, BFFs, or Super BFFs, indicated by other emojis such as 💛, ❤️, and 💕.
If you find that you’ve gone down a rank, say from Super BFF to BFF, with your SO, or if you don’t have the longest snap streak with them anymore, this could mean that they’re spending their time on the app talking to someone else. Surely, a subtle sign of a Snapchat cheater. This is a great way to use the features of social media platforms to catch your boyfriend cheating on Snapchat or call out your girlfriend/partner on their cheating, conniving ways.
3. They spend a lot of private time on their phone
If your SO is spending a lot of time alone, this in itself is a relationship red flag that things are going downhill. If, in addition to this, you can hear them clicking photos through the door, they’re likely sending cheating snaps. You do know how is Snapchat used for cheating, right? Primarily, through an exchange of naughty photos.
Related Reading: How Not To Let Phones Ruin Your Relationship
4. They ignore you on Snapchat but not on other social media apps
This might not seem like a big deal since you probably spend a lot of time with your partner in real life, but if they completely refrain from communicating with you on Snapchat, it could mean that they’re trying to avoid sending you something intended for one of their *ahem* Snapchat connections. This is especially true if they’re not ignoring you on other social media apps.
5. They have become emotionally distant
In addition to the above behaviors, becoming emotionally distant all of a sudden is a classic sign of infidelity, regardless of whether it’s happening on Snapchat or in real life. In a monogamous relationship, emotional distance is probably the number one sign that the relationship is in danger. It means that your partner is taking you for granted.
A girlfriend or boyfriend cheating on Snapchat will likely distance themselves from you to focus on this new excitement in their life.
6. They have become more absorbed with their phone than usual
While smartphone addiction is now fairly commonplace, if you notice your SO on their phone significantly more than usual, then it could mean that they are engrossed in a certain cheating app. If they’re actually simply getting addicted to social media, they will often share a funny meme or some controversial news with you to bond. If they’re sending someone cheating snaps, they will obviously be super secretive. The last thing they’d want is for you to see these photos!
Related Reading: Has Your Husband Checked Out Emotionally? 12 Signs Of a Failing Marriage
7. They are less intimate with you
Cheating of any kind will lead to a loss of intimacy between two people. So, even with Snapchat cheating, you will feel a decline in intimacy from your partner. While it could simply mean that the two of you have fallen into a routine, if this feeling of low intimacy combines with one or more of the other factors in this list, it is probably a sign of Snapchat cheating.
8. They get defensive when you question their behavior
It is human nature to become defensive when we are caught doing something wrong. So, if you think your partner is using Snapchat to cheat on you and you confront them about it, their instinctive response might be to become defensive. Even if you don’t directly accuse your partner of cheating but simply ask them why they’re behaving the way they are, they may become unusually guarded and may lash out.
9. Their desire for you has significantly reduced or completely vanished
Let’s face it, most of us don’t really have the libido to consistently be with more than one person for a long time. Eventually, cheaters lose their desire for their partners and focus more on their new interests. If you sense that your partner doesn’t desire you as much anymore and it coincides with other changes in their behavior, it could be evidence of Snapchat cheating.
Related Reading: 9 Sexless Relationship Effects No One Talks About
10. They don’t want to work on the relationship anymore
The fact of the matter is that relationships take work. So, if your partner has suddenly stopped holding up their end to make it work, they might be using the popular cheating app aka Snapchat to indulge in a side-romance. After all, if someone else has all their attention, how will they have the bandwidth to invest in your relationship? If they genuinely care about you, they will take a more serious interest in the relationship.
11. They’ve become increasingly irritable with you for no apparent reason
Snapchat cheating, or cheating of any kind, will make the cheating partner neglect their primary relationship. This could play out in several ways such as:
- Increased conflict, arguments, or fighting over silly things
- Unresolved frustration or anger
- Decreased emotional closeness
- Increased loneliness or isolation
Related Reading: 8 Conflict Resolution Strategies In Relationships That Almost Always Work
12. They’ve become increasingly judgmental of you
This is a classic sign of projection on the part of a cheating partner and a strong sign of cheating guilt. They will start judging you for anything and everything they can find as a sort of ‘preemptive’ defense against your inevitable discovery of their infidelity. It is also a subtle sign that they wish you were someone else aka their new Snapchat friend.
How To Catch Someone Cheating On Snapchat
If you know for sure that your SO is cheating on you using Snapchat, or even if your suspicions are strong, it’s time to confront them. But how? Confronting a cheating partner is never easy. What if you’re wrong? This could drive a wedge in your relationship rather than bring you closer together (assuming your partner’s emotional distance is not due to cheating).
And on the flip side, what if you’re right? That means your worst fears are confirmed and the relationship could be all but over. Either way, you will still need to know how to catch Snapchat cheating. If they are being unfaithful, then you owe it to yourself and your mental health, to confront them. Here are some tips on how to catch cheating on Snapchat:
1. Confront them directly
If your partner is Snapchat cheating, the ideal option would be to share your concerns with them directly. Keeping a fear like this to yourself will only chip away at your mental health. It will also not lead to them losing interest in their new crush.
If you’re unsure of how to broach the subject, plan what you’re going to say before you say it. Write a script if you have to. You don’t have to memorize it word for word, but it will give you a clear idea of what to say and what not to say to have a healthy discussion rather than an argument.
If you feel like you may not be able to keep your emotions from getting away from you, try a few mindfulness exercises to help you find your center. If you have never tried mindfulness before, there are plenty of YouTube videos and apps to help you get started.
Related Reading: How To Catch A Cheating Partner – 13 Tricks To Help You
2. Catch them red-handed
On the other hand, if you feel that confronting them will cause them to become defensive or deceitful, you could try catching them in the act. This may sound difficult, especially if you’re not a super sleuth, but it may be easier than you think to catch a cheater. How to catch cheating on Snapchat, you ask? A little extra alertness on your part will give you the window you need to catch them with their proverbial pants down. The downside to this approach is that it could lead to an ugly situation because you’ve yanked them out of their little paradise AND they have to now deal with reality.
If they do happen to be well-versed in stealth mode and you never really catch them in the wrong, you could try downloading a Snapchat spy app to your Android device or iPhone. These kinds of apps are great for viewing a Snapchat user’s data such as photos, videos, snaps, stories, friends, Snap Map, messages, and more.
If your partner uses an iPhone, you could even download an iPhone spy software to go beyond just their Snapchat habits without trying to learn their iCloud credentials. You can read our article about Snapchat spy apps to learn how a spy account can help you spy on Snapchat on a target phone.
3. Just tell them you’re not happy in the relationship anymore
If, like many of us, you’re averse to confrontation and don’t feel comfortable with the ideas we mentioned above, just say that you’re not happy and that they’re the reason. Tell them that their behavior is the cause of your distress without throwing out any accusations.
If your SO still cares about you, they will at least have a conversation when they see how distraught you are because of their behavior. This way, you can gently nudge them toward making a choice rather than giving them an ultimatum. It also protects you from a potentially heated argument.
Related Reading: How To Accept Your Marriage Is Over
4. Accept what you cannot control and exit
While you can try to salvage the relationship by confronting your partner about them cheating on Snapchat, the sad truth is that by this point, the relationship is probably already over. Even if they regret their actions and promise to never stray again, they are very likely to repeat this kind of behavior. The reason is that they’ve already opened the door to it in their minds and it is very hard for a cheater to change.
There is also a high chance of some unresolved trauma in their past that has led them down this road, so even with therapy, it will take them a very long time to truly change.
If you feel that this reflects your relationship with your partner, then maybe it is time to say goodbye. Explain to them what happened but be resolute in your decision to leave. They will probably try to apologize and make all kinds of promises but you need to remind yourself that you deserve better.
You can also remind yourself that they need space to resolve their issues so they never cheat on a future partner again. There is nothing wrong with ending a relationship that is hurting both of you in the long run.
Key Pointers
- Unlike physical cheating, emotional cheating is a little harder to define. But it does exist, and it does destroy relationships. Snapchat is merely the latest tool of the emotional cheater.
- Some common signs of emotional cheating are loss of intimacy, increased irritability and more frequent arguments, emotional distance, and more.
- Snapchat cheating in particular looks like a sudden and unusual preoccupation with their phone, a new Snapchat BFF or a sudden disregard of your Snapchat activity.
- Tread lightly when dealing with a situation such as this because there’s a high chance of a heated argument.
- Whatever decision you make, ensure that it is in the best interest of your mental health and well-being.
The question has gone far beyond “Is Snapchat a cheating app?” Snapchat used for cheating is only the latest trend in relationship infidelity. But it is cheating nonetheless. If you feel you might be a victim of your partner/boyfriend/girlfriend cheating on Snapchat, then you might want to consider:
- Are they emotionally distant?
- Are they unusually preoccupied with their phone?
- Should you try to salvage the relationship or leave?
- Should you spy on Snapchat to catch them in the act?
We understand that this is a bitter pill to swallow but it’s always better to be done with a situation like this than to let things fester in your mind. Prioritize your mental well-being and always remember that you’ll find someone better for you in the future!
